Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms

I think this continuous war between some stay-at-home moms (SAHM) vs working moms is completely asinine.

I have the DVR set up to record all the Dr. Phil shows… then when I have time to watch an episode or two, I’ll go through them and delete the ones that don’t seem interesting and I’ll watch the ones that catch my eye. Today I watched an episode about SAHM’s vs working moms and let me tell you… the debate got a bit intense.

Well, pretty intense for the Dr. Phil show…

SAHM’s were seated on one side of the audience, and working moms were seated on the other. Both sides were throwing words back and forth like invisible daggers. Admittedly, the worst were the SAHM’s… they were really attacking the working mom’s with a vengeance. There was this one lady in particular who was vocally opining about how ALL mothers should stay at home to raise their children, and if they have to go back to work, then they shouldn’t have had children in the first place. It was insulting and I could feel myself trying to melt into the couch from sheer embarrassment from just watching people behave so childishly.

I am a SAHM.

Because that’s what is right for me and my family.

But it certaintly doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. I know that I am not nearly perfect enough in my own life to have the audacity to shove my views on someone else, judging them when I have no idea what their life is like behind closed doors.

You can’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

And I don’t really want to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

I don’t get what the big deal is. I don’t understand why women engage in these Mommy Wars.

I don’t understand why moms try to EAT OTHER MOMS’ SOULS.

Why does it matter if one mom chooses to go to work? Who cares if another mom chooses to stay at home with her kids? Each mom is doing what she truly feels is the best for her and her family.

To moms who bicker about how other moms choose to raise thier kids, I say get a life. If you’re gong to EAT SOMEONE’S SOUL, eat one belonging to a rapist or a murderer. Leave all the well-meaning moms alone.

Ah, if only I could rule the world, right?



  1. There’s been a lot written about this by people far more eloquent than I, but I do think a lot of it comes from the fact that there’s all this pressure on women to be everything for everyone. The sad reality is, when my husband stays home with our baby, no one berates him for “not living up to his potential.” Granted, he’s an actor, but still…

    Also, as a former child care worker, I can say that our child care system needs some major overhauls, starting with increasing the training and pay for child care workers and decreasing the cost of quality child care for all. But then, I’m a pinko commie when it comes to stuff like that.
    .-= Falling´s last blog ..Creepoid FTW! =-.

    • You are absolutely right; there is so much pressure for women to do it all. And it’s a double standard… Like you, I’ve noticed that stay-at-home dads are not belittled for staying at home with the kid(s). Nor are the dads belittled for going to work… or if the house is messy.

      Yes, our childcare system is in need of serious reform. There are so many unscrupulous daycare centers with little to no training. Then again, there are definitely some wonderful, amazing childcare centers out there who love thier jobs and the kids. We need more of those!!

  2. I am so thankful that i can stay at home with Anna.It does work for me and my family,but it might not always.When that time comes,I will go out and see what job I can do and do it.It’s really cut and dry to me,do what you can-when you can.Unless someone offers to pay our bills for us,I don’t pay any attention to a voice in the crowd.Moms can be so vicious to one to another,and its truly unnecessary.I mean,on cafemom,the debates about boob vs formula,sahm vs working,religion… there are so many issues on these topics.

    • For real!! Now that I have a baby, I see first hand how mean and vicious some moms can be to other moms. It’s like they think that THEIR decisions are the only RIGHT decicions for EVERYone. They don’t seem to realize that every baby is different, as well as every family and what works for some people doesn’t work for others. It’s nuts how people gets so riled up over OTHER people’s decisions!

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