So I’ve mentioned before that we live in a pretty rural area. I love it out here; it’s so peaceful and serene and crawling with…. BUGS. EVERYWHERE. And I don’t mean measly ole City Bugs that are your typical beetles and ordinary spiders. I’m talking about giant, creepy, crawly, science-experiment-gone-awry MONSTER BUGS. If I were to gather the inner-strength to venture out into the woods, I would encounter numerous species that have yet to be discovered.

So with that being said, just the other day, I had a dear friend of mine over for company. She brought some wine as a gift, so we sat outside and sipped our wine and enjoyed the weather as afternoon turned into evening. When we came in to eat a marvelous dinner of Italian Pasta (cooked by my amazing husband), I left the wine bottle outside on the porch since the bottle had started to sweat.

Later that evening, once the sun had tucked itself into bed behind the twinkling stars, I grabbed the lonely bottle of wine and brought it in, setting it on the kitchen counter to be dealt with later. The next morning, I picked up the bottle and rinsed it out (since we recycle) and noticed what I thought was a dried leaf stuck to the bottom. I tried to pick it off, but it was pretty much glued on. Upon closer examination, I realized it was not a dried leaf. No, it was something much more sinister… it was A DRIED, SHRIVELED, GIANT, MAN-EATING SLUG and it was attached securely to the concave bottom of the bottle!

GROSS!

Did I mention it was GROSS, GROSS, GROSS!?!?!

I shrieked in horror because although slugs themselves are not horrifying, DRIED, SHRIVELED, GIANT, MAN-EATING SLUGS stuck to the bottom of  wine bottles ARE! I took some slug-remover, a.k.a. industrial strength paper towels, and gingerly pried the crusty mollusk off the bottom of the bottle and tossed it unceremoniously into the trash.

GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!

I doubt I will ever be able to look at the bottom of a wine bottle the same again…

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