Oompa Loompas, I am waiting for you

This weekend, I ate The Best Ribs Ever.

Seriously. THE BEST.

I don’t even like ribs. But these? These, I couldn’t get enough. And we didn’t get them at some fancy restaurant. Nor a little hole-in-the-wall diner. (You know the kind I’m talking about… on the outside, it looks like they serve nothing more than bland greasiness slapped on a bun, but then you try one of their meals and you’re all like HOLY COW! HEAVEN DOES EXIST!). Instead, one of Paul’s friends had a cookout. That’s right, these ribs were GRILLED, yo.

Did I mention that I don’t even like ribs?

Ok, so aside from having a mega-awesome rib-consumption session, Paul and I had a fantastic weekend. We were actually planning on seeing the new movie Inception, but the theater was packed and we were late, so as we drove upon it, we decided Strained Neck Syndrome just wasn’t worth it. We were certain the only place left to sit would be the FRONT ROW. So you have to strain your neck to look up and see the movie. And everything seems to be out of proportion and oddly skewed because of the weird angle. I hate when that happens.

And so does my neck.

The only downside to this weekend was I gained 5 pounds. OVERNIGHT. After I ate those mind-exploding ribs. You hear me? YOU CAN GAIN 5 POUNDS OVERNIGHT. And I don’t mean water weight. What the hell am I? Some sort of balloon? Is it just that easy to inflate me? I eat a few ribs and WHAM! I blow up like a giant blueberry without the blue tinge. Like that chick Violet off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I’m just waiting for the Oompa Loompas to appear and roll me away so that I can deflate.



  1. That vision of Violet blowing up in the movie has my hysterical….and she didn’t even get those wonderful ribs!!!!! Some things like the.best.ribs.ever. are worth a short bloat. You’ll be back to normal in a day or two! And I so hate sitting front row at a movie theater…why do people actually pick those seats?!
    .-= SuziCate´s last blog ..Not Exactly Musical- But I’ll Toot My Horn AnyWay! =-.

    • I SERIOUSLY hope you’re right and it’s a short bloat. Gaining weight, even just 5 lbs, is depressing. And I don’t know why they even PUT the front row so close to the screen at the movies. It ruins the experience! And my posture!

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