Boogers in Abnormal Places
So today, after I laid Nathan down for his nap, I tip-toed quietly out of his room in the hopes that he wouldn’t notice my departure.
I successfully make it to the living room and am about to sit down and enjoy one of my pre-recorded episodes of House because lately, for some reason, I cannot sleep when Nathan naps. I have been plagued with this fear that something’s going to happen to him… he’s going to die of SIDS or he’s going to get his legs stuck in the crib railing and rip them off or he’s going to morph into a little moth and flutter his way out of room.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
I’m just terrified that something will happen to him, something that I could have prevented if only I had been awake. These feelings won’t go away. In fact, they’ve been getting stronger. I’m not normally one to subscribe to superstitions, but lately I’ve heard so many stories about babies passing away unexpectedly that it has started to weigh me down, like if it happened to this person then it could happen to me.
I’m sure these feelings will pass soon, these New Mommy Jitters. Nathan is nearly 9 months old now. He’s made it this far; I don’t see why he would suddenly pass away out of the clear blue.
So anyways, I stay awake so I can keep checking on him after he falls asleep. IF he falls asleep. So I was sitting there, about to turn on the TV when my ear starts itching.
Like every other normal person on earth, I scratch it. I felt something small and hard. I grab it with my fingernail, assuming it was a piece of ear wax. Normal people get ear wax.
It was not ear wax.
IT WAS A BOOGER.
A dried, crusty ball of Nathan Booger.
I know it was Nathan’s booger because earlier in the day, I tried to lay him down for a nap unsuccessfully. After a few minutes of hearing him cry, I relented and rescued him from his comfortably plush prison.
He had snot all over his face, his hands… crusted in his eyebrows.
I wiped the snot off, but apparently, I didn’t get it all off of his hands because shortly after that, he inserted his finger in my ear. That was when he must have deposited his booger.
I am beginning to realize I can’t exactly say I have a normal life anymore… I had a displaced booger temporarily residing in my ear.
Not really normal, huh? Well, actually… it just might be normal for a Mommy.