I hate that saying “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” It makes no sense. None at all. Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly what it’s supposed to mean, but that’s such a nonsensical way to say it. There is no point in having a cake if you aren’t supposed to eat it. What else are you supposed to do with it? Stare at it? Chew it up and then spit it right back out? Or how about blow it up with a bazooka? Or devise some ingenious way to use it for murder? Maybe recipients of cakes should use them to smother people. Or perhaps the cakes could be used as bait to attract insects. I don’t know why anyone would want to do that, but I also don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to eat their cake. Some people claim the saying makes more sense if you say “You can’t eat your cake and have it, too” but you know what? That is just as illogical.

Because who in their right mind would want to just have a cake and not eat it? It’s not like saving it doubles its value. You can’t resell it. So by golly, if someone gives me a cake, I’m damn well going to eat it! Not just admire it. Or save it until it goes stale. Or use it for murder. I’m going to cut it up into delicious pieces and CONSUME THAT SHIT.

So will someone tell me, what is the point in having a cake if you can’t eat it? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CHOCOLATE, someone please tell me!