Ok. I did it. I finally caved. No, I didn’t cave to Nathan’s ultimate wish of being COMPLETELY REABSORBED by me.  And no, I didn’t eat the rest of that chocolate ice cream that has been sitting all lonely in the freezer, begging to be enjoyably devoured.  This time I did something for my health.

I made an appointment with a chiropractor to take a look a my back. And DO something about it.

Because, let me tell ya. Ever since I was 5 months pregnant, my back has turned into a separate entity entirely and has been TRYING TO KILL ME. I can feel the bones and muscles in my back conspiring with each other. Let’s swell up here, and let’s spasm a little there, they whisper in a brittle whisper indicative of unbridled hate. I don’t know why my back hates me. But it is totally my enemy at the moment.

It hurts to stand. It hurts to sit. It hurts to lay down. Everything I do hurts, and I’m to the point that I have to do something about it. As in, the universe will IMPLODE IN UPON ITSELF if I do not. That’s how badly my back hurts.

See, a few years ago, I won this “free visit” to a chiropractor which included free x-rays and a complimentary full-body massage on this bed thingy that had these roller thingies in it. I took my brother with me as my guest. We both got the roller massage, and although it was bumpy and borderline painful, it was worth the trip because our x-rays revealed why both of us had back pain. Both of our spines are crooked!! Ok, not like… humped… or anything, but both of our spines curve ever so slightly to the left at our lower backs.

In fact, the x-rays of our spines looked identical. The only difference being my hips were wider than his.

The chiropractor said he could adjust our spines and over time, it would help ease our discomfort… but the thought of having our spines manipulated in any way disturbed us.

So, no chiropractic for me or my brother!

Now, years later, my back is hurting worse than it ever has before. So this place I’m going will do this really cool scan of my spine, which has way more details than just an x-ray. Hopefully, this scan will reveal why the pain has progressed to such a point that it’s become intolerable.

And hopefully, they can fix me.

Gotta be better than going to the doctor, right? Because I’ve seen it happen time and time again to various people I’ve known through my walk of life. They hurt somewhere. They see the doctor. Doctor prescribes muscles relaxers and pain medication. And what starts out very innocently can eventually morph into something that destroys not only the individual his or herself, but their entire family as well.

Addiction.

That’s something I’m afraid to take a chance with. Because addiction is something you cannot control. I’ve been addicted to cigarettes- was a smoker for 12 years- but I quit when I found out I was pregnant and will never, ever pick another one up again.

So my appointment is coming up at the beginning of next week. Keep your collective fingers crossed for me because it would be totally wonderful to not walk around with my hand constantly massaging my lower back. I feel like I creak with every move.

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