life with a new baby
Posts tagged annoyances
In which Nathan proved to be faster than light
Jul 8th
A few days ago, my mom came over to my house for a visit. When I heard her car outside, I opened the front door and stepped out on the porch to greet her. With my hand still on the doorknob (I hadn’t turned the knob to release it), I closed the door. In the split second it took for me to close the door, I realized I had made a mistake. I needed to go back inside to grab my keys, just in case Nathan locked me out.
Click.
Too late.
Nathan locked the deadbolt. WHILE MY HAND WAS STILL HOLDING THE KNOB. I hadn’t let go of it, so the door had not even latched closed. He was that fast.
My heart dropped down into my stomach.
Nathan giggled impishly behind the door.
My mom saw the look on my face and jumped out of her car. “Oh no!” she said. “Did he lock you out?” I didn’t even have to answer. I’m sure my blanched face was answer enough. Meanwhile, Nathan stood on the other side of the door, giggling as I peered through the glass.
“HI, MOMMY!” he laughed.
“NATHAN! Open the door, please,” I said through gritted teeth. Nathan flung the curtains over the door’s window to either side. “Mommy! Hello! How are you?” he sang. Then he clapped his hands while spinning around in a circle.
“I want you to open the door, that’s how I am!” I responded. “Nathan, turn the lock on the door the other way, please.”
Nathan jiggled the deadbolt, but to no avail. He didn’t understand what he had done. All he knew was that he now had the ENTIRE HOUSE TO HIMSELF. And what does a two-year-old who now has the ENTIRE HOUSE TO HIMSELF do? THEY RUN. They run around like a crazy little cracked-out bull. I watched hopelessly through the window as he tore through the living room and kitchen. Then I heard his little feet stomping their merry way into my bedroom.
I knocked on the door.
I heard little feet come running.
“Hello?” he said when he reached the door. I knocked again. He knocked back.
“Nathan, open this door please!” I beckoned.
“No please!” he replied as he knocked some more. Then he took off once again. I turned to my mom and asked her to keep an eye on him through the window while I borrowed her cell phone to call my husband.
No answer. Of course. Doesn’t that always happen?
So I did the only other thing I knew to do… I drove to Paul’s grandparents’ house (they live about 2-3 minutes away). I pulled up and saw Paul’s grandfather outside working. I rolled down the window.
“Nathan locked me out. Do you happen to have a spare key?”
He smiled and nodded his head. It was the smile of knowing. The smile of With a kid like yours, how did this not happen sooner? A smile of understanding and empathy. I wondered if the same thing had ever happened to him. I made a mental note to ask sometime. He walked inside and reemerged after a couple of minutes with the spare key.
“THANK YOU!” I said as I was leaving. He smiled that knowing smile.
I raced back to the house, heart pounding in my chest, praying to God that my child didn’t drown himself in the toilet. My mom was still standing on the porch. Somehow, she had managed to keep Nathan fairly interested in her conversation by enticing him to stay near the door by dangling one of his favorite outside toys in front of the window.
“Is he okay?” I called as I raced to the front door.
“He’s just fine,” my mom responded. She was so calm. “I just kept him by the door. Whenever he ran off, I knocked and he’d come running back.”
“I can’t believe he did this,” I said as I slid the key into the lock.
Click.
Finally, I was inside. My child ran up to me, arms wide open. “Hi, Mommy! Hello!” he called excitedly. He truly didn’t understand what all the hubbub was about. He only did what he’s seen me do time and time again when Paul leaves…. but he still had to be put into timeout because touching the door is off limits.
And this whole story is exactly the reason why he is not allowed to touch the door.
Ah, relief!
Jun 8th
Well, I gotta say that today was much better than yesterday. Yesterday, let me tell you, all I could do was sit and watch Nathan wreak havoc upon the place. Why, you ask? Because sitting there and watching him being crazy is much better than throttling him!! See, normally he is such a good little fella. He’s ordinarily so loving and sweet and he minds exceptionally well. But every-so-often, usually when he’s about to hit another milestone, he’ll just randomly go bizerk. As in, he will become defiant, belligerent, obnoxious, and pretty much the exact opposite of his normal disposition.
I can empathize with parents who have thought about selling their children to the circus.
No that I would ever really sell him. But I can entertain the thought. Because he was acting exactly how someone who belongs in a circus would act.
I think he also needed to get out and socialize with other kids. We haven’t been to church in a few weeks because first Nathan was sick, then I was sick, then Paul and Nathan were sick, then I was sick again, then Paul and Nathan got sick again, then we went camping… so I wonder if he missed playing with his friends.
We went to church today for my bible study. One of the girls in the study invited us over to her house for lunch and a splash in the kiddie pool for the kids. Nathan LOVED splashing in the little pool (I’m SO going to have to set up our own kiddie pool for him to play in!) so I think that also helped his mood today. He’s still acting a little crazy, but it’s nothing like it was yesterday. I can deal with days like today. I didn’t have this compulsive need to pull my hair out while rocking back and forth in a dark corner…
A little privacy would be nice
Jun 7th
The other day, Nathan did something really funny. A little embarrassing, but since he’s only two, not much of a big deal. I was holding him in my lap facing me, and he yanked open the top of my shirt. (Don’t all mothers have to deal with this at one point or another?)
“Hello!” he exclaimed as he craned his neck to peer down into my shirt. I quickly pulled my shirt back to my body.
“Nathan, don’t do that please,” I said. “It’s not polite to look at Mommy’s chest.” Nathan looked at my face for a moment before yanking my shirt out again.
“Hello, Chest!” he exclaimed as he stared down my shirt.
I hate allergies
Jun 1st
Good news is that I am feeling much better than I was the other day. Bad news is that even though my symptoms have subsided, I am still sick! And oh yeah, did I mention the STOPPED-UP EARS? Oh I didn’t? Well let me tell you. Having stopped-up ears is driving me INSANE. I can’t hear a darn thing. My husband is a mumbler, so I’m sure you can imagine how our conversations go.
Paul: moving mouth but not words coming out
Me: “HUH?”
Paul: Blah blah blah I still can’t hear him
Me: “What? Speak up, please!”
Paul: “I SAID I LOVE YOU!”
Me: “You crave cashews??”
Paul: ???
Me: !!!
Recent Comments
Aww thanks, Tina, it was good to see you too! I wish I could have talked to you more... I ...
I'm sorry you all had a rough go yesterday, but it was good to see you both :) I have ...
Thank you, I appreciate that. It's so cool to hear people say that we look alike... I've been told there ...
Awww... what really nice photos! You two look so alike, especially with the way you smile.