Posts tagged allergies

I hate allergies

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Good news is that I am feeling much better than I was the other day. Bad news is that even though my symptoms have subsided, I am still sick! And oh yeah, did I mention the STOPPED-UP EARS? Oh I didn’t? Well let me tell you. Having stopped-up ears is driving me INSANE. I can’t hear a darn thing. My husband is a mumbler, so I’m sure you can imagine how our conversations go.

Paul: moving mouth but not words coming out

Me: “HUH?”

Paul: Blah blah blah I still can’t hear him

Me: “What? Speak up, please!”

Paul: “I SAID I LOVE YOU!”

Me: “You crave cashews??”

Paul: ???

Me: !!!

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The Sneezing Marathon

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First Christmas

This year, it took us three days to get the Christmas tree decorated and all our Christmas decorations laid out.

Last year, when I was six months pregnant, it took six hours. This year, we have a nine-month old little guy who insists on having our undivided attention. That means that nothing is worthy of stealing Nathan’s thunder.

Christmas tree included.

We started putting the tree up on Thanksgiving evening. Paul hauled the Christmas tree and all the decorations in from the shed. We started pulling out the limbs for assembly when we noticed something peculiar.

Something was awry with the limbs of our Christmas tree.

For once, it had nothing to do with baby poop. But it was something else that was equally disturbing.

Something that had left clumps of insulation throughout a handful of limbs.

A MOUSE NEST.

Yes, a mouse had built a little home for itself in the bowels of our Christmas tree limbs.

Expensive Christmas tree limbs. This is the kind of tree you can’t just throw away because of some mouse. Not that our tree is some grand, magnificent sight… but for three people living off of one income, it’s magnificent enough to not just throw away.

Fortunately, the little home was abandoned. There was no mouse to be seen. Just tufts of insulation embedded in the limbs of the tree, a grim reminder of the MOUSE THAT ONCE WAS. The mouse that lived (and I’m sure died) in our shed.

Remnants of a happy life once lived.

So we spent the entire Thanksgiving evening with bottles of Lysol and paper towels, sanitizing the shit out of each and every Christmas tree limb, peeling off wisps of mouse nest from in between the fake plastic pine needles.

But then there is my allergies. Apparently, I am allergic to Fake Christmas Tree Dust and Abandoned Mouse Houses and I had a pretty severe allergy attack. My rapid-fire sneezing has been non-stop since Thanksgiving. Every time I walk into the living room, my eyes start to swell, my nose starts itching, and my chest starts that familiar I’m-going-to-suffocate-you burn.

It feels like my body is TRYING TO KILL ME.

Because apparently, when we were hauling fake plastic Christmas tree limbs out from their temporary coffin, we let loose a cloud of Danger Dust. The kind of dust that accumulates on things outside, even things that are in a shed… a dust composed primarily of leaves, pollen, and mouse-house allergens.

So I’ve resigned myself to deep cleaning the entire house. The dust has gotta go.

I banish it. 

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem as if Nathan has my allergies. Thankfully. The kid isn’t even phased. He likes looking at the twinkling lights on the tree, reaching out for the ornaments, and laughing at Mommy’s multiple sneeze marathons.

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25 Random Facts About Me

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Something was really funny

 1. I have a morbidly vivid imagination, which works quite well for me in my field of work (graphic design.)

2. When I’m anxious, I bite my fingernails and leave pieces laying around for my husband to see, just so he knows how stressed out I am.

3. I randomly broke my foot over a decade ago while walking to the bus-stop one day while I was in high school. And old lady with white, beehive hair almost ran over me with her giant blue Buick, so I dodged my imminent death by jumping into a ditch, breaking my foot in the process. It is the only bone I have ever broken.

4. I was a smoker for 12 years. I kicked the habit cold-turkey July 1, 2008, and I will never smoke another cigarette. I had a serious love/hate relationship with cigarettes. Quitting was quite easily the hardest thing I have ever done.

5. I use my son as an excuse when I’m caught talking to myself.

6. I love animals and am especially fond of cats. We have four fur babies who are like humans. However, I am severely allergic to my cats so I have to dust and vacuum all the time.

7. Speaking of which, my record amount of sneezes due to cat-allergies is 17 in a row.

8. I am terrified of bees. I know I can crush them with my mighty strength and awesome mind power, but their stingers pack a sting of terror.

9. I’ve only been stung once in my entire life, when I was 7. Ever since then, I run for my life (literally) and always manage to thwart their evil plans to kill me. People say, “Don’t run, they’ll sting you!” Well, it’s been working for 21 years… I opt to continue looking like a deranged fool over going to the hospital any day.

10. I hear voices and see dead people.

11. Ok, I don’t really hear voices and see dead people, I just wanted you to be scared of me.

12. I am very easily entertained.

13. I recently reorganized the entire house from top to bottom, and now I can’t remember where I put everything. My husband is quite irritated that I misplaced most of his stuff. I can conveniently remember where most of my things are.

14. My husband loves me despite my compulsive need to rearrange things.

15. I am very, very anal about keeping the bathroom clean. Water spots on the sink have been banished. Along with any specks of spittle that tend to magically appear on the mirror. And my husband’s whiskers.

16. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

17. My favorite color is pink.

18. Sometimes I laugh when someone falls down. But only if it looks really, really funny. I’m not THAT evil.

19. I really hate when people stare. REALLLLLLY hate it. It makes my butt twitch.

20. I like to make people think my butt twitches.

21. I’ve learned no one can ever out-fart a pregnant woman, EVER.

22. I like really cute and unique socks, and I never care if they actually match my outfit, as long as they match each other. I am especially fond of the ones with toes. (My feet stay cold.)

23. Try as I might, I can’t cook. I think I am cooking-disabled. Thank goodness I married someone who cooks like a champ!

24. My grandfather on my dad’s side is 100% Finnish. I like my heritage… the only drawback is that it is impossible for me to tan. I burn, peel, and freckle, so I just stay out of the sun.

25. I’ve learned over the years not to take things for granted, even the talking chipmunks.

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