Posts tagged pregnancy
Yesterday, Nathan and I went to get our flu vaccines. While we were at the clinic in the room with the nurse filling out paperwork, Nathan started telling her all about… my womb. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, my womb was up for discussion.
See, when I was pregnant with John, Nathan was very curious as to where the baby lived and how he fit in there. So I explained to him that the baby lived in my womb; a protective little enclosure that kept him safe all the way up until he was born. I didn’t call it a uterus because Nathan’s the type who will go up to complete strangers and talk nonstop about something. Calling it a womb just seems to make more sense at this time.
So anyway, while we were there, Nathan stood right by the nurse and told her all about his brother and my womb.
Nurse: Yes, Nathan?
Nathan: What’s a womb?
Nurse: A what?
Nathan: A womb. Where baby brother grew.
Nurse: Oh you have a little brother? What’s his name?
Nathan: Yeah his name is John & he’s little. Can I draw you a picture of Mommy’s womb?
Nurse: Sure, here’s some crayons… and here’s some paper.
Nathan: Hey Doctor?
Nathan: I’m going to draw a picture of Mommy’s womb now. It’s really, really, really big! So baby brother can live in it!
And with that, Nathan proceeded to draw a picture of my uterus. The whole time he’s mumbling about wombs and babies, and I’m desperately trying to refrain from busting out laughing. When he was done, he proudly showed me & the nurse his drawing. Apparently, my uterus is oblong and full of blue, green, & yellow scribbles. Who knew?
I am SO ready to meet this baby! I know babies come when they’re good & ready, but the wait is so hard, especially once your estimated due date comes & goes. This pregnancy has flown by for me. In fact, all the way up til about my 36th week or so, I could never remember how far along I was! But now? Now I have it down pat. And it’s going by so slowly.
I’ve gotten to the point that I’m just simply too pregnant to do anything. It hurts to walk or even just move. I feel like I need a crane just to help me roll over at night! Every time I want to roll over, I have to wake up and hoist my belly over IN INCREMENTS. Four, to be exact. That’s right, I have to literally roll over in four carefully executed increments in order to roll from my left side to my right.
I made it this far with working out at the gym, but now that ship has sailed. I know my limits, and my gym days are done until a few weeks after I have this baby. I did great lasting so long with working out, and I’m proud of myself for it! But now it’s time to get as much rest as I can before this marathon called labor starts. And my body is definitely preparing. You know all the stories you’ve heard about women getting a rush of energy right before they go into labor? Not me. NOPE. In fact, the last time I remember feeling so exhausted, so utterly wiped out, was when I had the flu. This is just my body’s way of conserving all my energy for The Big Day, whenever that may be. The elusive day. The day that seems like it will never come.
And cue the collective sigh.
Well, in the grand scheme of things, a week or two “late” is really no big deal. It’s an *estimated* due date, not an expiration date. There is no eject button. Things will take their course when they’re good and ready. And for goodness sake, PREGNANT WOMEN DO NOT POP. Never in the history of mankind has a baby exploded or popped out of a pregnant uterus when it was time to be born. So if you’re one of the assholes who says “ohmygah you’re about to POP!” I highly recommend you take the opportunity to shut up or you risk those being your final words.
And oh. When a pregnant lady’s due date has come and gone, just leave her alone to finish gestating in peace. It’s not the end of the world. Unicorns everywhere will not start crying. Twinkle lights all over the world will continue to twinkle merrily. No need to call her a bazillion times asking if she’s ok, and for the love of all things that sparkle, do not, I repeat do NOT, ask her if she’s had that baby yet. Because it’s not like we gave birth, decided we weren’t ready, and then had our doctor or midwife shove them back in.
What is it with people and their obsession with due dates? It’s like once a woman goes past her ESTIMATED due date, people think ENTIRE GALAXIES WILL START IMPLODING.
Yeah it’s really weird. When I mention I’m “past” my due date, people panic a little. “When will you be induced?” “How far will they let you go?” “Is that really safe?” Blah blah blah. What’s up with rushing babies? First off, I have the right to refuse an induction or any medical intervention for that matter. Second, nobody “lets” or “doesn’t let” me do anything. I am not a little lamb who takes orders. Last, it’s a helluva lot safer than artificial induction with Pitocin or Cytotec.
I’m thinking I’m going to start just saying I could still have two more weeks. It would save me from drama. Drama is for llamas, you know.
Nathan really does come up with the cutest things. Today, for example, I told him that I couldn’t play chase with him because I’m so pregnant.
“I’ll rub the belly,” he said. And he proceeded to pat my belly for a few seconds. “All better?” he asked when he was done.
“You know, I do believe that helped some. Thank you,” I replied.
“Sure! Now I’ll rub the back!” he exclaimed. And he patted my back for about 15 seconds.
“There!” he declared when he was done. “You still preg-a-nant?” It was so hard to contain my laughter! What a sweet boy, looking out for him mama by rubbing my belly and back. Even if it is just for a few seconds!