life with a new baby
Posts tagged poop
Play-yard catastrophe
Jul 11th
Well. Guess what Paul and I did this morning?
No, we didn’t immerse ourselves in glittering rays of sunshine. Or win any money in the lottery. No, it was nothing fancy or even fun. That’s right. It wasn’t even REMOTELY FUN. Well, what on earth could we possibly have done this morning?
I’ll tell you.
WE CLEANED UP POOP.
Lots and LOTS of Nathan poop.
We had put Nathan in his play-yard for a bit, and before we knew it, he had pooped in his diaper. But it wasn’t just a regular ole poopy diaper, no sir-ee. It was a FULL poopy diaper. And Nathan decided he didn’t like it one single bit. So guess what he did?
HE PULLED HIS DIAPER PARTLY DOWN.
And I’m sure you can guess what happened to all the Poop That Was Once Contained. It was unleashed all over the play-yard. All over Nathan. All over his clothes. All over almost every single one of his toys. And this isn’t the first time we’ve had a Play-yard Poop Catastrophe.
So we spend a large chunk of our morning giving Nathan a bath, cleaning all his toys in the play yard (I’m not kidding when I say that only two or three of his toys, out of about 15 that were in there, were void of poop. The remaining toys all had a little dollop of poop smeared here or there), cleaning the play-yard’s mesh sides, and cleaning the play-yard’s floor.
Not a fun day, so far. Not fun at all.
Grossness
Jul 6th
I don’t think Nathan chews his peas when he eats them; he must be swallowing them whole. At least, that’s what his dirty diapers are telling me.
It is not a lovely sight at all. Not one bit.
It’s it’s not just whole, unchewed peas that I’m finding. There is also corn. Whole kernels of unchewed corn. Sometimes bits of carrot. And the smell! Don’t even get me started on the smell. I think I’m going to have to buy a gas mask or something because this smell is pervasive; THERE IS NO ESCAPING THE SMELL.
I still smell it long after the offending diaper has been wrapped, sealed, and thrown away.
I still have, what? Another year or so of diaper changes before Nathan can be potty trained?
Oy vey!
Changing it up
Jul 6th
I hope you all had a wonderful July 4th!
We spent the day taking it easy and relaxing after a nice lunch with Paul’s grandparents. And even Nathan joined in on the chilling out by ONLY POOPING ONCE. He’s been pooping 3-4 times a day lately, and let me tell you, THAT GETS OLD. Who likes changing multiple poopy diapers a day? Certainly not many of us, me included.
We didn’t get to see the fireworks because we found out, once it was too late, that the fireworks in our town were going to be held on Saturday instead of Sunday. Saturday, however, we were watching the UFC fight, which was great, by the way. It was probably too late for Nathan anyways since they don’t start until around 10:00 at night, and Nathan is in bed by 9.
There’s always next year, though!
But today, our festivities are officially over. Paul has gone back to work after five whole days of being off. I always feel a twinge of sadness when he has to return to work, especially after a long weekend. I am lucky to have an amazing husband that loves to spend time with me and vice versa! I married a family man… exactly who I’ve been wanting my whole life.
So, in other news, I’m thinking about switching up my postings a little bit. Instead of writing at the same time Monday through Friday, I’m going to start posting whenever I have something to post about… whether it’s multiple times in one day or just once every two days or whatever. I’m still trying to find the right fit for me and what works best with my schedule with Nathan. We’ll see how this goes.
A happy boy
Jun 22nd
So, remember Friday how I felt like Nathan developed a burn/rash problem from the new Pampers Cruisers DryMax diapers we switched him to? Well, I told you guys we switched back to Pampers Baby Dry diapers and have used hydrocortisone cream 1% and then petroleum jelly once he started to heal, and his skin problems are almost gone now! There’s still a little redness and tenderness there, but the majority of it has healed.
Nathan is MUCH happier. Thank God. Because I really, REALLY don’t like to see my child in pain.
I sent Pampers an email and also contacted them via phone, and to their credit, the lady I spoke to was quite nice and apologized for the problem. I asked if they were thinking about taking the DryMax off the shelves and reverting to the old Cruisers (which we loved using on Nathan) but she said at this time, no they are not. In fact, they aren’t making any more diapers without the DryMax. Which is a bummer because I really liked the Cruisers.
I wish I knew why Nathan had such reaction to (what I felt was) the diapers.
All I know is that I change Nathan’s diaper almost immediately after he wets it. Paul and I have always been seriously on top of the whole diaper changes, which is why Nathan never, ever had a diaper rash of more than two or three little bumps that we were able to eradicate in a matter of a day or so. (Unfortunately, we can’t prevent diaper rashes 100% since we don’t know the very second Nathan wets himself, and with him being mobile and all, the diaper rubs against the wetness and causes mild rashes.) I was flummoxed when I saw the skin on his bottom turn bright red and starting to blister and even peel, something I had never seen before on him. It most definitely was not your average diaper rash. It was more like a burn than anything. And what really befuddled me was how quickly it worsened because I was changing his diaper within 5-10 minutes of him wetting himself. So I was at a loss as to why he had a this strange skin aberration in the first place, and especially worried about the severity of it.
I’m just glad I caught it before it got worse. I’m also appreciative that Pampers listened to what I had to say and documented my complaint. Hopefully, they can get to the bottom of this and fix it. Because the new DryMax technology would be pretty cool if they could figure out how to stop these painful reactions.
The Grossest of All The Gross Grossnesses
Apr 15th
Poop.
It’s a daily occurrence. I cannot escape it; I have learned to just hold my breath and deal with it. But now, I have something to tell you that’s even funnier than Nathan’s Pooping Episodes.
Can you believe it? Something that’s funnier than poop exploding from the back of a diaper?
So this story starts off with, you guessed it, poop. But it doesn’t end there.
I was changing Nathan’s diaper. A poop diaper. That had exploded with poop shooting of the back of his diaper and all over his back and his clothes. So I removed his soiled clothes and was holding his ankles with my left hand and cleaning up his mess with my right. It was CAKED all over his back, so I had to lift his legs high into the air in order to get his back clean.
Nathan was crying his poor little head off. I am apparently raising a baby cow because his poop sometimes has this pervasive manure-like smell, and the worse his poop smells, the more he seems to cry and protest when I change his diaper.
I don’t blame him. I don’t like smelling it, either.
So Nathan was crying up a storm while I was holding his legs and cleaning his back, when all of a sudden, he made this sound like a surprised yelp followed by a short gurgle. I put his legs down and noticed the poor little guy had smeared his tears all over his face and chest.
Wait a minute.
That wasn’t tears glistening on his face and chest. Or puddled around his head.
IT WAS PEE. Huge puddles of Nathan Pee were everywhere. He was pretty much SWIMMING IN IT… it was all over his face, his torso, and arms. And his head was resting in a puddle. And remember how I said that I was in the process of cleaning Nathan up when this happened? WELL, I WASN’T DONE. So there was some pee that had run down onto his back, making the remaining poop this viscous, brown funk that smeared everywhere… and it was quite possibly the Grossest of All the Gross Grossnesses.
Don’t scoff at a pee-poop mixture. If you have yet to deal with this, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE IN FOR.
With a heavy sigh, because ya know, this kind of stuff always seems to happen, I cleaned up the entire mess and had Nathan dry and happy in a few minutes, and he seemed to forget about the whole ordeal in a matter of seconds.
But I will never forget. No, I will never forget the day that my son peed on his own face.
The Ultimate King of ALL Mega Poops
Mar 15th
It’s been a while since I’ve talked about Nathan’s poop, mostly because I thought nothing could outdo the last poop blowout he had. It’s like I have become desensitized to all the poop that goes on around here because it’s something that happens every day. Nathan poops. I change his diaper and clean up any spillage. I gag. And I repeat the cycle the next day.
But this poop? This poop will haunt me. This poop will be in my nightmares for a long, long time to come.
See, I had put Nathan in his play yard because I needed to get some things done, and because Nathan gets into EVERYTHING, there is absolutely no way whatsoever I can leave him unsupervised with free rein of the room.
Apparently, he pooped soon after I put him in his play yard.
And this poop could not be contained by the diaper. He was wearing a two-piece pajama set, and the poop ERUPTED out of the diaper and up his back.
And for the first time, he didn’t cry to let me know he needed a new diaper.
Instead, HE ROLLED AROUND IN IT.
HE.
ROLLED.
AROUND.
IN.
IT.
My husband got to Nathan first and, bless his wonderful heart, proceeded to start the PEELING process. You know, the act of PEELING all that poop off of Nathan that had EMBEDDED ITSELF into his skin from him rolling around in it.
I walked in to help, and I was about KNOCKED OFF MY FEET by the smell.
Oh that smell. The smell of a thousand sewers mixed into one giant vat of Pure Stink. It was so noxious that I FELT MY EYEBROWS SINGE just a little. The smell was so foul that it seemed to SOLIDIFY in the air. As I walked to the changing table to help Paul, I envisioned these minuscule Poop Smell Particles floating around, invading my nostrils and covering my skin.
It smelled… thick.
I tried not to breathe.
It didn’t work. I had to breathe, so I put my shirt over my nose and mouth… but the smell still managed to penetrate my meager defenses.
There was poop all over Nathan. ALL OVER HIM. It was on his arms, his legs, his ankles, his stomach, his back, and even UNDER HIS FINGERNAILS. But that was nothing compared to what lurked in his play yard.
The play yard was GROUND ZERO.
A POOP CATASTROPHE.
A calamity of unsurpassed proportions.
There was poop on every single one of his stuffed animals. It coated every single one of his toys. It was smeared all over the floor of the play yard and a dull brown sheen coated his book and all its pages. It was even ENMESHED in the mesh-sides of the play yard.
EN-FREAKING-MESHED in it.
It was like a bomb filled with poop had exploded in the play yard, and globs of poop were strewn about all over the place.
My so-very-awesome husband cleaned and sanitized the entire play yard, all Nathan’s toys, and the changing table, which took over half an hour. (Seriously, could I have possibly ever married any one else even half as wonderful as this man? I don’t think so!) This poopage was monumental.
MONUMENTAL, FOLKS.
If only there was a diaper out there that could contain Nathan’s poops… but I don’t think they make anything strong enough.
Nathan needs INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH diapers.
Yes, It Happened Yet Again…
Jan 8th
Nathan had his first bath the other day!
Ok, before you start wondering if we’ve ever bathed our kid, Paul always just took him in the shower with him and just bathed him in there.
It was fast. It was simple. It was less messy. And Nathan really enjoyed it.
So the whole reason we had to give him an actual bath was because Nathan (believe it or not!) actually SLEPT during his nap. He didn’t keep himself awake by talking to himself or thumping his legs. He actually fell asleep right away.
He slept solidly for two hours.
So, do you remember how I told you guys that Nathan was such a stubborn little guy that he was holding in his poop, and making himself painfully constipated because of it? Well, the doctor prescribed some medicine to help with that. I had given it to Nathan hours earlier, but he hadn’t pooped yet.
He pooped during his nap instead.
And boy, did he ever poop.
Remember the MEGA POOP? The poopage that got all into the feet of his sleeper and the grossness of it made me gag? And remember how I said that no poop could possibly, POSSIBLY, be worse than the MEGA POOP?
Oh, was I ever wrong.
This poop, guys… this poop was WORSE. It didn’t seep into the legs of his sleepers.
It did something even grosser.
IT SHOT OUT THE BACK OF HIS DIAPER.
It soaked through his onesie.
It soaked through his crib sheet.
Rank, stinky, vile, no-longer-constipated Nathan Poop was all over the place.
And when I took off his onesie, there was poop CAKED ONTO HIS SKIN. I had to peel it off his back.
I. HAD. TO. PEEL. IT. OFF.
And the smell, oh Lord the smell.
His onesie was ruined. I have never been one to just throw clothes away. I usually go through great lengths to get stains out, and I have this special routine of soaking, coating with stain-removers, and washing that gets the stain out every single time.
But this time, this time I wasn’t going to EVEN go through that.
So after I PEELED the poop off of Nathan’s back, I wiped him down with a wet wipe.
But wet wipes ain’t got crap on… well… crap.
After about 10 wet wipes, his back was still stained with this gross, brown poop color. Nathan needed a shower immediately, and Paul wasn’t able to get in the shower. So we decided that Nathan was big enough to take his first bath.
We filled up the sink with water and added some suds to make a gentle bubble bath.
He loved it!
At first, he was a little bothered by it all. But Paul gently cleaned him with the sprayer, and Nathan was cool after that. In fact, he really loved watching the water cascading down his head. He watched intently as it made tiny splashes in his little pool of water, looking up at us every so often as if to say So this is what I’ve been missing?
Nathan and his monster poops. I still have years left of this, don’t I??
Recent Comments
Yes! A personal maid would be perfect! Oh, that would free up SO much of my time!!
I'll take a double-layer chocolate one!!
He is SO not happy about it. I feel so bad for him... if only he would groom himself then ...
Don't you just love it? sometimes, I used to think my kids should have come equipped with their own maids ...