life with a new baby
Posts tagged patience
Tester of Boundaries
Mar 2nd
Nathan definitely has a stubborn streak in him (I have NO IDEA WHERE HE GETS THAT. Cough, cough). After all, any baby who HOLDS IN HIS POOP is pretty damn stubborn. Nathan gets it in his head what he wants to do and nothing, I mean nothing, will change his mind.
He’s decided that he’s going to figure out some way to touch all the things I say he can’t touch, which includes the entertainment center. When he crawls up to it, I always say Don’t touch that, Nathan. At first, he would touch it anyway, resulting in him being moved to another place in the living room. So then he got to where when I would say Don’t touch, he would plop down on his bottom and stare sadly at the off-limits item for a few minutes before he would forget and try to touch it again.
But now, my little guy is trying to outwit me.
Now, he KNOWS what is off limits. So now, instead of directly touching something he knows he’s not supposed to, he’ll get his index finger as close to it as he can WITHOUT ACTUALLY TOUCHING IT. For instance, he knows everything on the entertainment center is off limits, but he tries to test me by putting his finger A HAIR AWAY from the off-limits object, like the DVD player or the DVR. He won’t actually touch it, but it will be MILLIMETERS from actual contact.
FREAKING MILLIMETERS, GUYS. So close that at first glace, it looks like he’s actually touching it.
Yes, he still gets reprimanded for it. I tell him if he can’t actually touch an object, he can’t FAKE TOUCH IT, EITHER.
So then, once he figured out that he can’t FAKE TOUCH what’s off limits, he started touching them WITH OTHER OBJECTS. I’m sure he’s thinking, well, I’M not touching it… my (toy, stuffed animal, etc) is touching it. So he’ll take one of his toys and will use it to touch the items that he’s not allowed to touch. Like his toys are becoming his FINGER PROXIES.
AND HE WILL LOOK RIGHT AT ME WHILE HE’S DOING IT.
As if to say, Look mom! I’m not touching! I can’t get in trouble if I’m not physically touching it!
Yeah, Nathan. You can’t do that either, my mischievous little guy. You cannot make your toys into proxies on your behalf, son.
He’s definitely in the Boundary Testing Phase. He knows, KNOWS, that he’s not allowed to touch certain things, and yet he tries to find loopholes in the rules, looking for other ways he can touch said object. Or trying to see just how close I will let him get to touching it.
I have my hands full with this little guy.
Life With a One Year Old
Feb 20th
As of next week, my little baby will no longer be considered an infant. Now, it’s life with a ONE YEAR OLD.
And it can be really frustrating, I think mostly because Nathan has all these emotions and feelings but he has no way to communicate them. One minute, he’s my sweet little guy… all smiles and dripping drool. The very next minute, he’s like an animal… howling, screeching, pinching, smacking, and simply being defiant.
And it can be over something as simple as feeding him something like pears.
It doesn’t matter that yesterday, pears were his favorite food. Because today, they are NOT his favorite food. And I’m his mother, so apparently, I’m supposed to be his personal mind-reader, because he acts like he simply CANNOT believe that I would have the utter audacity to GIVE HIM PEARS.
And don’t even get me started on diaper changes.
He used to be fine with them. Then one day, out of the clear blue, he suddenly turned into this wriggling snake-like being who defied the changing-table restraint straps like a force to be reckoned with. What used to take only a couple of minutes has now turned into a battle of wills.
Nathan does not want his diaper changed.
I do.
So he twists and contorts and screams, and I coax and cajole and try to be as fast as I can.
And when Nathan and I are just hanging out and playing, sometimes he’ll push me away when I try to hug him. I try not to take it personally because, hell, he’s only a year old and has no concept of other people’s feelings. But when I bend over to hug him or pick him up and he pushes me away, I can’t help but feel like little pang of sadness.
My baby wants to be independent.
And when he’s in the floor playing with the toys that surround him, he’ll suddenly get upset for whatever reason. And he will slap his toys away, throw his arm dramatically over his eyes, and cry while intermittently peeking out from under his arm to make sure I’m watching this spectacle.
But he also has his really sweet moments… moments that make my heart swell up with so much love that it feels like I’m about to float away on a wispy cloud of pure bliss. Like when we wake up from a nap and he rubs my cheek every so gently.
With a hand coated in slobber.
But then he forgets he’s supposed to be gentle when touching my face and will smack me out of sheer… love. Can you believe it? He loves me so much that he gets super excited and starts smacking my face. I tried explaining that domestic violence isn’t how you show love, but of course he doesn’t quite get that concept.
Sometimes he even tries to yank off my lips. AS IF THEY ARE DETACHABLE.
It’s absolutely amazing watching him grow. A year ago, he was 100% dependant on me for every single thing. Now? Now, he’s becoming a little more independent each day. I’ve watched him grow from this helpless little being into someone with his own personality and his own wants and needs. I’ve watched him learn how to roll over, how to sit up, how to crawl… and I cry a little (JUST A LITTLE) each time he masters a new skill.
And nothing beats when he wraps his little arms around my neck and gives me a hug or nestles into my hair.
Ah, living life with a one-year old. It’s never, ever dull. Or boring.
Sleep, You Have Been Missed
Feb 19th
Ever since Nathan was a little bitty guy, he’s fought nap time. When I would lay him down for a nap, he would either play in his crib or have a total meltdown, neither of which resulted in any sleep. And on the rare occasions when he would fall asleep, he’d only nap for 20-45 minutes.
Once a day.
Only getting one nap for such a short period of time wasn’t doing Nathan (or me) any good. Nathan would be so tired and grumpy the entire day. Which made me tired and grumpy. And it’s not fun taking care of a tired and grumpy infant when you’re tired and grumpy yourself.
So I started cosleeping with him during nap time, and it has worked like a charm.
Now, he always falls asleep. He sleeps 2-3 hours in such a deep, comfortable sleep that he doesn’t even move or roll over. Plus, I get to nap as well. Even though sometimes I don’t feel like sleeping so I just lay there and listen to him breathe. The only complaint I have about taking a nap with him is that I lose a big chunk of time in the middle of the day to get stuff done. So yeah, laundry’s a bit behind.
And I have an eternally stiff neck and a crick in my shoulder from laying in one single position the whole time we nap. Every day. See, Nathan will only sleep if we are facing each other. So if I roll over and face the other direction, he wakes up and whimpers until I roll back over and face him again. Then, it’s back to sleep. Which is really freaking cute and all, but sometimes it kinda sucks when you’re DYING to roll over but you can’t.
But who cares, right?
Because there are finally people getting some sleep in this house!
That’s a pretty big deal.
I’m happy. Nathan’s happy. In fact, Nathan is so happy during naps now that he even he snuggles into the crook of my arm and wiggles his toes lazily with contentment, which is a stark contrast to how Nathan used to react to naps… with meltdowns and huge, heartbreaking tears.
Now, I totally understand why so many moms cosleep with their infants.
He Did It!!!
Feb 16th
Well, as you know, Nathan’s been diligently learning how to crawl. In this post, I talked about how Nathan moved about by mostly rolling all over the room and crawling backwards, then he figured out how to move forward in a crawling/shimmying/lurching motion (click here to see the video). And you can read about the first time he took his first actual ”Crawling Steps” by clicking here. And now? In just the span of a few short days, he’s started crawling with his belly off the floor.
FORWARDS!
There’s been a couple time’s he’s scooted backwards, but it’s mostly when I use The Deep Voice to tell him “Not for Nathan” when he reaches out to touch the entertainment center. You know the voice. The voice that says You’re about to get into Deep Trouble, Mister. Only I don’t have a deep voice, so when I use it, it sounds more like I’m gargling with gravel.
So when I use The Deep Voice with Nathan, his outstretched hand will stop its reach in midair, hovering uncertainly. His fingers will twitch with anticipation. He wants to touch what is Off Limits so bad. Really, really bad. But he’ll turn around, hand still outstretched towards the Forbidden Loot, and he’ll look at me uncertainly. “Don’t touch that, Nathan,” I’ll say. Then he’ll scoot backwards, plop down on his bottom, and stare forlornly at the object.
So that’s about the only time he really crawls backwards now. He prefers to be up on all fours and since he’s just learned how to do it, so he doesn’t have the speed just yet. And sometimes he gets a bit wobbly. And guess what else? I GOT A VIDEO OF IT!
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