life with a new baby
Posts tagged patience
Potty training, here we come
Mar 21st
Big news in the house: Nathan is on the verge of being potty trained!!
I’ve been working with him since last summer. Yes, it has taken MONTHS! I knew he was nowhere near ready, but I wanted to go ahead and introduce the idea to him. I didn’t push him and just let him get used to the potty on his own terms. At first, he wanted nothing to do with it. Then I was able to coax him into sitting on the potty fully-clothed. Then from there, I got him to sit on it with his pants off but his diaper on. Then we transitioned to diaper-less but most of the time, he still didn’t need to pee while he was on his potty. Since then, I’ve just been patiently watching him for his cues, waiting for him to be developmentally ready. (Different kids are ready at different points- some aren’t ready until after they are three years old.) He is finally at the point where he tells me when he needs to go potty. Up until now, he would tell me but then he would’t actually go while he was on his potty. Now, however, he’ll tell me and will actually pee once I get him to the bathroom. Most of the time when he wakes up in the morning, his diaper is dry. This tells me that he’s developing bladder control, so I will usher him to his potty where he will relieve himself.
Sometimes he is still mischevious though. For example, the other day he told me he needed to go potty. I checked his diaper and it was dry, so I took him into the bathroom. I couldn’t stay in there with him because I was right in the middle of doing something, so I got him situated and told him to stay on his potty until I came back.
He didn’t listen. Of course.
I heard little footsteps echoing on the linoleum, so I went in there to discover him standing up and walking around. I admonished him and told him that he needs to make sure he remains on the potty until I am able to come back. So I sat on the floor beside him and read him a book. I KNEW he had to pee because it had been a few hours since his last diaper change. After about ten more minutes of reading to him, I realized that he simply didn’t have to go. So I put my hand on the floor to help me stand up.
And my palm splashed firmly into a puddle of pee. Right in front of the bathroom sink.
I was not amused.
And the sleeplessness continues…
Feb 24th
Well, there has been no improvement with Nathan getting out of bed at night. My child’s willpower has surpassed mine. Unbelievable. If I had a white flag, I would totally wave it. We’ve tried everything we could think of, but nothing has worked. Discipline, bribes, rewards, promises… nothing has thwarted his apparently indomitable desire to run around his room at night.
And oh. I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve heard him darting around in the darkness, digging through his toys… and when he hears us walking to his room, he’ll race back to bed, lay down, and pretend like he’s done nothing wrong. Complete with sweet smiles and soft “I love you Mommy and Daddy” phrases as we open the door. But upon closer inspection, we can always find a stash of toys hidden under the blankets and stuffed animals, exposing his mischief every time.
The only thing we can think to do at this point when we hear his footsteps exuberantly pounding around the room is go in there and tell him to get back in bed because it’s night time. No yelling. No frustration. No discipline. No negativity. Why? Because none of it worked, and you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work because it will drive you insane.
I’m hoping the repetitiveness of simply but continuously and firmly putting him back in bed every time he gets up will eventually sink into that hard little head of his. He’s seemingly more apt to do what we say when we don’t show negative emotions. Keep your fingers crossed.
But still. He won’t stop getting out of bed. And he’s making himself stay up later and later… last night, for example, he stayed awake until 1:00am. And then got up at 8:00am, which is late for him. He must me a night owl like his mommy. Only I don’t joyfully bounce out of bed in the mornings like he does…
We also converted the crib to a toddler bed. Up until this point, before he started climbing out of his crib, we left it as is. The older he got, the less we worried about him falling and getting hurt. BUT, once he started climbing out, we decided it was time to take the rail down. Once we started the process of converting it, however, we realized a vital piece of the railing for the toddler bed was missing. (This, sadly, was no surprise. When we first got the crib when Nathan was born, it arrived at our house missing and ENTIRE CRIB SIDE. Made in China… go figure.) So we couldn’t attach the safety rail since a vital component wasn’t included. Because of that, the first few nights Nathan rolled out of bed a number of times. Once he sustained a nasty abrasion on his forehead from falling out. So I took some great advice my mother-in-law gave me; I rolled up a long blanket and stuffed it under his sheet on the edge of the bed. It makes a nice round lump, which helps keep him from falling out. Works like a charm (for the most part, when he hasn’t flattened it out from constantly getting out of bed at night), so I’m not quite as irritated as I was about being unable to install the safety rail.
So we’re all pretty tired around here. No one is getting a lot of sleep at this point. I know that this, too, shall pass and that he won’t be this age forever. It’s a phase that we’ll get him through, just like we’ve gotten him through all the other phases he’s been through in his little life.
In the meantime, some good recuperative sleep sure would be nice…
Parenting is not for sissies
Feb 14th
Well, there have been a few things happening around here lately. For one, my neck is slowly mending itself. I had called my doctor a week and a half ago to make an appointment, and the receptionist informed me that I wouldn’t be able to get in for 1.5 weeks due to my doctor going on vacation. When I told her that didn’t help me any, the only thing she offered was an apathetic apology. So I just decided not to make an appointment because I didn’t want to waste my time if my neck started to feel better in the interim. Which is has. It’s not 100% better, but at least I’m not in intense agony any more.
In other news, guess who is still getting out of bed every night? Yep. Nathan. We’ve tried everything… and nothing has worked. We’ve taken away his TV privaleges, his bedtime stories, then his stuffed animals and favorite blankets, then his hot wheels (all 50+ of them), all his dinosaurs, and then we took away his entire toy shelf including the toys it housed, then we took away every single one of his favorite toys which cleared out about 75% of his toy inventory. All his trucks, planes, helicopters, trains, blocks, legos… gone. We’ve even tried spanking. Then we tried rewarding him for staying in bed. Then we tried bribing him with a flashlight. (He loves flashlights, so we told him he could have his flashlight in bed, but he can only keep it if he STAYS in bed.)
NOTHING WORKS. NOTHING.
He still gets out of bed. Multiple times a night. And it’s worse when we react negatively with frustration or lose our patience. When any sort of negativity on our part is introduced, his misbehavior TRIPLES. He’ll get back out of bed immediately rather than waiting a while and do things like pull the electrical cords to his humidifier and radio out of the wall and put them in his mouth and bend the prongs. (We’ve since had to remove them completely from his room.) He’ll even open his bedroom door, step out, and wave at us while smiling before issuing a mischievous giggle and darting back into the darkness. Every time, he gets in trouble. But that doesn’t stop him. It’s almost as if he’s getting a rush or something out of seeing us get frustrated. Like he wants to see just HOW FAR he can push us. So I’m sure you’re sitting there saying to yourself, well then just don’t get frustrated! It’s so much easier said than done, especially when you’ve been dealing with it for weeks. WEEKS. And when nothing you’ve tried works. And you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work. So we’re running out of ideas on how to get him to stay in bed. Discipline does not work. Taking things away does not work. Bribing does not work. Rewards for good behavior do not work. He wants to get out of bed, so that’s what he’s going to do by golly. We’re starting to run out of ideas.
It’s so frustrating. But we can’t just give up and let him do what he wants. Life doesn’t work that way.
I know he’s only two years old, nearly three, and being frustrating and testy is part of his job description. But my lord this kid is so stubborn. I’m amazed at his perseverance. Now if he can take this apparently indomitable will power of his and use it to successfully propel himself through life, then it’s a good thing. But I worry about keeping him on the right path with him being so strong-headed. When he gets it in his head that he wants (or doesn’t want) something, it’s incredibly difficult to get him to change his mind.
Being a parent is not easy.
I think since nothing is working, our only option really is to just not do anything. I don’t meant to allow him to run freely around at night. I mean we’re going to try just putting him back in bed. Over and over and over again. No more frustration. No more discipline or taking privileges/things he likes away, or bribes, or reward offers. I think what he wants is our attention. It doesn’t matter to him if the attention is good or bad, he just wants to get a reaction out of us. If we don’t react, maybe he will give up. Maybe.
We’ll see.
Tis the season for… mischief!
Dec 13th
BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.
I have most of my Christmas shopping done! I spent all day Saturday braving the crowds, getting jostled by oblivious texters while walking crowded walkways. I seriously can’t stand people who text and conveniently forget that the world around them continues to revolve.
Oh yeah. Speaking of texters, I was almost hit the other day by a moron who was texting while driving (again. This seems to happen nearly every time I drive). I was passing her in the left lane because she apparently didn’t have the brainpower to keep her speed consistant… it varied drastically. So anyway, as I was passing her, I noticed she was looking down more than she was looking at the road. And then she veered into my lane and nearly hit me and Nathan as she was looking down.
People who text and drive aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. They are apparently clueless that they have greatly increased their odds of crashing and injuring someone because of their own self-absorption. They are thinking only about themselves and what THEY want. I just hope that neither me or any of my family members or friends are hurt because of such brazen acts of sheer stupidity and self-centeredness.
So anyway, I braved the masses, hit some awesome sales, and got just about everything I needed to get for Christmas. I’m not usually able to get everything done this far ahead of time, so it’s nice to be able to relax and not stress as Christmas Day approaches.
In other news, Nathan is still being a bit ornery. This child is incredibly strong-headed and stubborn, and he keeps doing things he knows he’s not supposed to do just to test us and see what we will do about it. His most recent mischief involves climbing up onto his bookshelf to retrieve the baby powder. While I was distracted. On the computer. Can you guess where I am going with this?
Not only did he dump the baby powder all over his dresser, but he tried to pry the safety lock off one of the drawers. We’ve been having issues keeping it adhered to the dresser, and Nathan has been taking full advantage of this weakness. No big deal… it’s just clothes in there… but still. It’s the principle.
And now he is in time-out for climbing on top of his toy chest and messing with his radio (which is off limits!). I was on the computer, beginning to type this post (it seems most of his mischief occurs when I’m writing in this blog) and then I suddenly hear music blaring from his radio. I storm into his room only to catch him standing on the floor, smiling sweetly.
LIKE HE THOUGHT I WOULDN’T FIGURE IT OUT.
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Aww thanks, Tina, it was good to see you too! I wish I could have talked to you more... I ...
I'm sorry you all had a rough go yesterday, but it was good to see you both :) I have ...
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Awww... what really nice photos! You two look so alike, especially with the way you smile.