I don’t see how hoarders can do it. I would go crazy!

So anyway, I’ve been taking Nathan to the park to enjoy the lovely weather, and (of course) he has a blast. He’s growing into such a little boy. We’ve been working diligently with him on speaking in complete sentences. The kid has a steel-trap memory, so he’s memorized the basic sentence we taught him which is “Mommy, may I have some more Dino Dan please?” What’s really cool is that he uses that sentence for other questions. He just switches some words out. For example, he’ll now say “Mommy, may I have some more grapes please?” It’s incredibly awesome to hear the little baby you gave birth to talking to you in a complete sentence.

He’s also really advancing in the potty-training area. He tells me when he wants a diaper change, which is great. And he also tells me when he has to go potty. But I have to be quick… I have about ten seconds to get him to his potty before he pees in his diaper.

Nathan is also flapping his little Wings of Independence. He does NOT take too kindly to being told what to do. For example, I can expect a meltdown if I just grab his hands and start wiping them when he’s done eating. But if I ask him if I may wipe his hands, he’ll say okay. Other times, if he balks at the notion, I offer to let him do it himself. Sometimes it takes a while for me to convince him to let me do something, but I’ve noticed that if I just keep asking in different ways (“May I wipe your hands please? … Will you let Mommy wipe your hands for you? … Will you wipe your hands for Mommy please?”), eventually he’ll give in and let me.

He has such strong willpower! Last night, it took me nearly five minutes to convince him to let me brush his teeth. And I bet someone out there is thinking “Forget that! I’d just MAKE him brush his teeth!” Well, that doesn’t work with my kid. Sure, I could force my will on him, but it only leads to a meltdown and will put us both in an angry mood. I think avoiding those types of strong confrontations are important when you have a spirited child. Granted, there are times when you must be confrontational, but I think it should be saved for the Really Big Things.

We’ve had to drastically cut down on naps. Remember how we were having a bear of a time getting him to stay in bed at night? Well, he would go a few days doing pretty well- but then, inevitably, he would relapse. It was driving us crazy. Well, we had one more trick up our sleeves; we cut down on his naps. So now he doesn’t nap every day anymore. He’ll still nap if he really needs one, but here lately, I’ve just been keeping him up. And at night, he falls right asleep. Go figure.

He’s also becoming sweeter and sweeter. He is constantly seeking hugs and kisses. And he loves nothing more than to sit in Mommy and Daddy’s lap, cuddling with us. I love how lovable he is! And I’m taking full advantage of it because he won’t want us to love on him forever. Before you know it, he’ll be grown. And I won’t be able to nibble on those little arms anymore.

We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful child. Granted, he can definitely be difficult and trying when he wants to be, but his sweet side more than makes up for it!

Nathan’s still getting up at night, but only 1-3 times as opposed to multiple times. When I open the door and tell him he’s not supposed to be up, he’ll dive back into bed, cover himself with his blanket, and tell me he’s sorry and that he loves me. (He’s good at pulling my heartstrings, let me tell ya). We let him have a flashlight and a book and sometimes a toy (if he’s been really well-behaved that day) and now when he accidentally drops something off his bed, he will call for us to come help him rather than get out of bed.

I’m very proud of him for minding.

I’m learning that parenting is a work in progress. What works now may not work in a few weeks. In order to parent effectively, I think that parenting should be fluid. You do what works, and when something doesn’t work, you stop and switch to another tactic. Being a parent is no joke- at least not when you’re serious about being the best parent you can be. Children are such sponges; they soak up everything around them. They are molded by their parents. It’s pretty sobering to think about, huh? Who Nathan turns out to be as an adult will be a direct result of how I parented him as a child.

Let’s hope that I’m doing something right…

And oh. I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve heard him darting around in the darkness, digging through his toys… and when he hears us walking to his room, he’ll race back to bed, lay down, and pretend like he’s done nothing wrong. Complete with sweet smiles and soft “I love you Mommy and Daddy” phrases as we open the door. But upon closer inspection, we can always find a stash of toys hidden under the blankets and stuffed animals, exposing his mischief every time.

The only thing we can think to do at this point when we hear his footsteps exuberantly pounding around the room is go in there and tell him to get back in bed because it’s night time. No yelling. No frustration. No discipline. No negativity. Why? Because none of it worked, and you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work because it will drive you insane.

I’m hoping the repetitiveness of simply but continuously and firmly putting him back in bed every time he gets up will eventually sink into that hard little head of his. He’s seemingly more apt to do what we say when we don’t show negative emotions. Keep your fingers crossed.

But still. He won’t stop getting out of bed. And he’s making himself stay up later and later… last night, for example, he stayed awake until 1:00am. And then got up at 8:00am, which is late for him. He must me a night owl like his mommy. Only I don’t joyfully bounce out of bed in the mornings like he does…

We also converted the crib to a toddler bed. Up until this point, before he started climbing out of his crib, we left it as is. The older he got, the less we worried about him falling and getting hurt. BUT, once he started climbing out, we decided it was time to take the rail down. Once we started the process of converting it, however, we realized a vital piece of the railing for the toddler bed was missing. (This, sadly, was no surprise. When we first got the crib when Nathan was born, it arrived at our house missing and ENTIRE CRIB SIDE. Made in China… go figure.) So we couldn’t attach the safety rail since a vital component wasn’t included. Because of that, the first few nights Nathan rolled out of bed a number of times. Once he sustained a nasty abrasion on his forehead from falling out. So I took some great advice my mother-in-law gave me; I rolled up a long blanket and stuffed it under his sheet on the edge of the bed. It makes a nice round lump, which helps keep him from falling out. Works like a charm (for the most part, when he hasn’t flattened it out from constantly getting out of bed at night), so I’m not quite as irritated as I was about being unable to install the safety rail.

So we’re all pretty tired around here. No one is getting a lot of sleep at this point. I know that this, too, shall pass and that he won’t be this age forever. It’s a phase that we’ll get him through, just like we’ve gotten him through all the other phases he’s been through in his little life.

In the meantime, some good recuperative sleep sure would be nice…

“Everything’s ok, Mommy,” he said soothingly.

“Oh, Nathan,” I replied. “You know, insanity really is hereditary.”

“Yep,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You get it from your kids.”

“Yep,” he responded. After a brief hesitation, he smiled and said, “Me too, Mommy.”

No kidding, son. No kidding.

In other news, guess who is still getting out of bed every night? Yep. Nathan. We’ve tried everything… and nothing has worked. We’ve taken away his TV privaleges, his bedtime stories, then his stuffed animals and favorite blankets, then his hot wheels (all 50+ of them), all his dinosaurs, and then we took away his entire toy shelf including the toys it housed, then we took away every single one of his favorite toys which cleared out about 75% of his toy inventory. All his trucks, planes, helicopters, trains, blocks, legos… gone. We’ve even tried spanking. Then we tried rewarding him for staying in bed. Then we tried bribing him with a flashlight. (He loves flashlights, so we told him he could have his flashlight in bed, but he can only keep it if he STAYS in bed.)

NOTHING WORKS. NOTHING.

He still gets out of bed. Multiple times a night. And it’s worse when we react negatively with frustration or lose our patience. When any sort of negativity on our part is introduced, his misbehavior TRIPLES. He’ll get back out of bed immediately rather than waiting a while and do things like pull the electrical cords to his humidifier and radio out of the wall and put them in his mouth and bend the prongs. (We’ve since had to remove them completely from his room.) He’ll even open his bedroom door, step out, and wave at us while smiling before issuing a mischievous giggle and darting back into the darkness. Every time, he gets in trouble. But that doesn’t stop him. It’s almost as if he’s getting a rush or something out of seeing us get frustrated. Like he wants to see just HOW FAR he can push us. So I’m sure you’re sitting there saying to yourself, well then just don’t get frustrated! It’s so much easier said than done, especially when you’ve been dealing with it for weeks. WEEKS. And when nothing you’ve tried works. And you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work. So we’re running out of ideas on how to get him to stay in bed. Discipline does not work. Taking things away does not work. Bribing does not work. Rewards for good behavior do not work. He wants to get out of bed, so that’s what he’s going to do by golly. We’re starting to run out of ideas.

It’s so frustrating. But we can’t just give up and let him do what he wants. Life doesn’t work that way.

I know he’s only two years old, nearly three, and being frustrating and testy is part of his job description. But my lord this kid is so stubborn. I’m amazed at his perseverance. Now if he can take this apparently indomitable will power of his and use it to successfully propel himself through life, then it’s a good thing. But I worry about keeping him on the right path with him being so strong-headed. When he gets it in his head that he wants (or doesn’t want) something, it’s incredibly difficult to get him to change his mind.

Being a parent is not easy.

I think since nothing is working, our only option really is to just not do anything. I don’t meant to allow him to run freely around at night. I mean we’re going to try just putting him back in bed. Over and over and over again. No more frustration. No more discipline or taking privileges/things he likes away, or bribes, or reward offers. I think what he wants is our attention. It doesn’t matter to him if the attention is good or bad, he just wants to get a reaction out of us. If we don’t react, maybe he will give up. Maybe.

We’ll see.

I can’t believe my little boy has grown so much… sometimes it seems like such a long, long time ago that he was a little baby. Other times it seems like just yesterday. I wonder how it will feel in ten years. Or twenty. Or thirty. I know I’m really going to miss him being little and all the sweet little things that come with it, especially the things like how a hug can make the world ok, how kisses have the magical ability to instantly heal absolutely anything, and especially the way he wraps his arms around my neck and tells me he loves me “so vewy much.” He’s at a tough age where he is testing every single one of his boundaries and purposefully not minding me just to see what I will do. But the sweet times totally make up for the frustrating ones.

I’m really going to miss these times when he’s all grown up. Even the hard parts. Because when he’s all grown up, I won’t be able to tickle his feet anymore or scoop him up in a giant bear hug and twirl around the room with him… and all the other sweet little things that come with this age. The good and the bad, it’s all part of it.  So every time he throws a temper tantrum or tries to assert his independence, I just tell myself that one day, I will look back at these days with fondness…

Yes, I am complaining. My neck is killing me, thanks to my extremely strong-willed toddler. I initially hurt my neck in December… it sucked, but compared to how I feel now, the pain was more of an aggravating nuisance. I was trying to get Nathan into his car seat and he bucked up and threw one of his mega tantrums, hurting my neck and back in the process. I tried to wait it out, but ended up going to the doctor in the beginning of January. He told me I had a pinched nerve and prescribed an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory). I didn’t take it at that point because the pain was waning, so I saved it in case it flared up again.

Then a couple weeks ago, I reinjured my neck. I was trying to get Nathan into his high chair (due to having a teeny tiny house, we need to move our island out of the kitchen so we can move a table in… until then, I’m stuck with putting Nathan in his high chair) and of course, he would have none of this high chair business. So he threw another tantrum and wrenched my neck in the process. An hour or so later, I was putting away clean laundry. As I reached above my head to put away some blankets, I heard an audible pop! in my neck and then felt blinding white pain.

It’s been severe agony ever since.

I haven’t lost my range of motion in my neck itself, but I can’t shrug my shoulders. The only semi-comfortable position I can sleep in is on my stomach with my head turned to the right. Forget about sleeping on my right side or back. I have throbbing pain all through my neck radiating down into my right shoulder and also up into my skull- pain that’s so intense that I’m finding it hard to concentrate. And then the icing on the cake- a couple days ago, I started getting these flurries of piercing of headaches in the back of my head that radiate into my right eye, which I’m sure is related to my neck injury. It feels exaclty how I imagine it would feel if someone was stabbing me with an ice pick. Each one only last 1-2 seconds… 5 at most… but they are debilitating because I only get a few seconds of relief before the next wave hits. Fortunately after about 5-10 waves, they will dissipate for a while. But when it’s happening, it’s absolutely excruciating. I’ve tried everything… OTC medications like Tylonol, Ibuprofen, and Aleve don’t work. Neither do topical creams or numbing agents. Heat and ice don’t work either. I took my prescription NSAID, but it didn’t do a damn thing. Additionally, it made me gain 5 pounds in 4 days (which I have thankfully lost already)… and since I have been working my butt off getting down to my goal weight, that was unacceptable. Since there was no progress anyway, I discontinued using it.

I guess another call to the doctor is in order. My grin-and-bear-it attitude has not been successful. I think this is something that probably can’t just be “waited out.”

I HATE going to the doctor. It’s a pain because I have to try to figure out babysitting… there is no way I would take him with me- he’s in his I’m Into Everything Around Me phase, and it’s exhausting taking him anywhere where he has to sit and be quiet. Plus I hate being around sick people. It makes me feel all anxious and stuff. The last time I went for my neck, I was sitting out in the waiting room (which, for some ungodly reason, is not divided into a sick side and a well side), watching in horror as sick people coughed their noxious sputum all into the surrounding air without even attempting to cover their mouths. I could practically see the droplets reflect in the sunshine shafts as they hurled through the air. Kinda like how you can see dust dancing. Only this was disgusting sick people mucus, not dust. I cowered in chair in a corner that was as far away from everyone as I could get, trying to take slow, shallow breaths. I don’t care how silly/paranoid/neurotic that sounds. I don’t want someone else’s toxic sick mucus droplets incubating in MY lungs, no thank you. The office even supplied masks for those with a cough, but not one single person used one. They just open-mouthed coughed all over the place.

Seriously. HOW HARD IS IT TO COVER YOUR MOUTH? Did their mothers not teach them proper MANNERS? To everyone who is sick and coughs without covering their mouth, here is a big fat FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES. I hope your mucus boomerangs back into your lungs and makes you DOUBLY sick instead of infecting other people. Self-absorbed nitwits who don’t think about other people. And for God’s sake, DON’T COUGH ON YOUR HANDS. It’s nasty. We touch lots of things with our hands, and all those germs are transferred from your hand to anything you touch. Cough into your elbow. My toddler even knows how to do it.

GROSS.

So yeah. Anyway, being a parent is hard. Not just mentally, but physically as well. It wasn’t so bad when he was a little baby, but now he’s all big and strong-willed and determined, and even though I’m in great shape, I’m still no match for the ire of a disgruntled soon-to-be three-year-old.

There is something innately endearing about a child putting his or her shoes on the wrong feet.

Nathan is completely enamored with his fireman boots. They were a Christmas gift from my mom, and let me tell you, Nathan can’t get enough of them. The first thing he does in the morning, before he’s even out of his PJ’s, is put on his boots. He clomps around in them all day, just as proud as he can be. Never mind that half the time they’re on the wrong feet. That stuff just doesn’t matter when you’re two years old.

I love this age. Well. I LOVE the age, but dislike the phase he’s going through right now… we’re going for yet another round of NOT MINDING! It’s driving me completely bonkers. For example, we got into a bit of a power struggle today. There’s a local mommy group in my area that meets once or twice a month for lunch and play with our kids. There was one today, and before I even left the house, I had inhibitions about attending. Nathan was in one of his moods, and I could just feel that things probably wouldn’t go smoothly.

I made his lunch (which is pretty much mandatory whenever I take Nathan somewhere. He’s incredibly picky, and coupling that with an intense desire to run amuk with the other kids makes Nathan want to completely forgo his dinners.) So it’s just easier to bring his own lunch, and we rarely get into power struggles over it.

Not today, however.

I told him after he ate his lunch, he could get down and go play with the other kids. Well, Nathan would have none of my rules, dontcha know. He balked. Loudly. He wanted to completely skip his lunch and go play, but unfortunately Nathan without food is a very-hard-to-manage Nathan. So I tried to compromise and advised him to eat just half of what I packed. No success. I tried to bribe him with a cookie. Nope, still didn’t work. Applesauce? He took a few bites and then had enough. Then he tried to pick up his plate and move it away. Finally, I told him to open his mouth and I would feed it to him. COMPLIANCE! Never mind that my child is nearly three years old now and I had to hand-feed him his lunch. All I was worried about was getting food into that grumpy little belly while simultaneously sticking to my rule of eating before play.

But then he went kinda nutzo. He had no sugar (the cookies “mysteriously” disappeared into my own mouth), so I’m not sure where all the crazy energy came from. But he started running around the room, yelling and bouncing around while his wavy hair flapped crazily around his head. I watched in horror as he forcefully yanked toys away from other kids, stole their stickers and decorated his own torso with the loot, and danced around like a jumping bean that had been soaking in adrenaline for a number of days. I tried to reprimand him. When I saw him jerk toys away from other kids, I immediately went to him and gave the toy back to the other child, explaining to Nathan that he needs to share and be nice to others. I took the stickers off his torso and handed them back to the kids he stole them from.

But the ultimate embarrassment was when Nathan physically shoved another little guy down, causing him to cry. One of the volunteers approached me and told me what Nathan did, and I immediately whisked him away into a corner for timeout after I making him apologize to the other boy. I told the mother I was terribly sorry, but she was a bit of a bitch about it. Yeah, I know my child hurt her child, but guess what? It happens. That does NOT mean it’s ok, but it IS to be expected with two and three year olds. But she was absolutely bitchy about it. As I was apologizing for my son’s actions, she didn’t even acknowledge me. In fact, she turned away from me and ignored me as she held her crying son. I totally get that she was upset, but there was no need for her to be rude about it. So I just shook my head and left her alone.

That’s ok. Her child will shove another kid one day when he’s around Nathan’s age. Hopefully the parent of the child he hurts will be nicer to her than she was to me. After being shunned like that, though, I won’t be apologizing to her again if my child ever behaves inappropriately towards her child again. Nathan will apologize to the child he hurt, but I won’t go out of my way just for her to reciprocate with rudeness.

Yes, I’m a little pissed off at her arrogance.

But enough of that. Arrogant, bitchy people are everywhere in this world. I am quite sure I will encounter many, many more throughout my life.

So yeah, Nathan has his super sweet, precious and endearing moments… but this belligerent phase he’s going through right now is driving me insane. I’m hoping this phase doesn’t last long. I want him to be sweet again. Don’t get me wrong, he totally has a multitude of sweet moments. I’ve noticed he gets really wound up when we’re out in public, especially if there’s a lot of other kids around or bustling activities. I’m going to have to figure out a way to work on this…

In the meantime, I’m going to soak up every single sweet moment he has. I know his not-so-sweet moments are just a phase that he will outgrow with love and patience. I’ve had SO many people tell me the Terrible Two’s are nothing compared to the Terrifying Three’s. He’s almost three. I hope this behavior is not a taste of what I’m in for in the coming year!

I don’t care when he gets up in the morning and plays with his toys. We hear him and immediately go in his room and remove the heater and humidifier. But night time means bed time.

It’s funny because I remember when I was a kid, I used to sneak out of bed to play with my toys, too. I could always hear my parents walking down the hall to check on me, and I would scramble back into bed, throw the covers over me, and pretend like I was asleep. I used to also sneak out of bed to grab a book and a flashlight, and then I would curl up under the covers with my flashlight and read.

Nathan’s not quite at that age yet. He always gets caught because he’s so loud. His little footsteps stomp all over the floor, echoing with freedom as he runs around the room with excitement. We can also hear the clicking noise the heater makes when the buttons are pushed. And last night I caught him messing around once again with his humidifier. It’s a penguin-shaped humidifier, complete with a swiveling head.

Nathan decaptiated it last night.

I walked in him to find him standing near the humidifier with the penguin’s head in his hands. “Look, Mommy!” he exclaimed upon seeing me. “I found this!” And then he proceeds to ceremoniously hand me the penguin’s head. As if that would get him out of trouble. Like the head was just LAYING around on the floor in some dark corner, lost for months, collecting dust and providing a home for tiny spiders and he JUST SO HAPPENED to have stumbled upon it.

Yeah right.

So he’s lost his TV privileges again for today. Along with the stories I read to him before bedtime. If he keeps it up, we’ll take away his dinosaurs (oh how he loves his dinosaurs). I hope he stops being so head-strong about this because he’s just going to get into more and more trouble. I hate that for him… but regardless, we still have to teach him about consequences.

In other news, Nathan ran up to me for a hug the other day. I squatted down to accept it and he wrapped his little arms around me. As he was hugging me, he patted my back and said sweetly, “You’re so precious.”

Precious? I couldn’t help but giggle. I sure do love that kid. Mischievousness and all.

That’s right, Nathan is grounded from TV today for not minding.

He totally gets it, too. After breakfast, we normally let him watch an episode of Blue’s Clues, but not today. He asked for Blue, but I reminded him that he doesn’t get to watch any of his shows today due to continuously getting out of bed last night. “Okay, Mommy,” he said quietly without resisting. He knows what he did. He knows he’s supposed to stay in bed at night. And he understands that he now has to deal with the consequences. I know he doesn’t like it, but at least he’s accepting it.

In other news, Nathan and I still have that cough. Mine is getting a little better, but Nathan’s is still junky-sounding and deep. But on the bright side, I successfully taught him to cover his mouth with his elbow when he coughs. And he does! He’s pretty good at remembering to do it, even when he’s in the process of running or playing with his toys.

He’s losing his baby-ness and is becoming more and more like a little boy.

In fact, Paul’s mom told me about the last time Nathan was over at their house, he picked his nose, opened up a drawer, and promptly flung his booger into it. Can you believe that? That’s not something babies do, that’s for sure.

I have so many more similar antics to look forward to, don’t I?