life with a new baby
Posts tagged memories
Mommy Brain
Feb 25th
They call it Mommy Brain.
It happens once you have a baby. Something happens to your brain. I don’t know if the lack of sleep mixed with raging hormones causes the brain to… oh I don’t know, EAT ITSELF… or what, but something happens and you start to do things.
Weird things.
Nonsensical things.
BIZARRE things.
Like leaving the house with mascara on only one eye. (ONE EYE!) Or losing your keys and later discovering them in the freezer. Or putting the milk in the cabinet instead of the refrigerator.
Yes, I have done all of those.
Well, I totally have a case of Mommy Brain since Nathan was born. Have you ever heard the saying so-and-so would forget her head if it wasn’t attached?
Well, guys. I AM SO-AND-SO.
I am THAT person who would totally forget her head. Thank GOD they aren’t detachable, right?
I mentioned before that my OCD has malfunctioned. Yes, I used to be that person who always had everything all nice and neat and perfect. Everything was exactly where it should be. Things didn’t get misplaced all too often.
But now, Mommy Brain has taken over. Ever since Nathan was born, I’ve been so very forgetful and… I think you could even say SCATTERBRAINED.
Just the other day, my husband made a pot of coffee. Now, I love coffee even though I rarely drink it. Paul makes a his own blend at the store, and let me tell you, it is FABULOUS with some whipped cream and chocolate syrup. WATCH OUT, STARBUCKS.
So anyway, Paul made coffee the other day and it smelled so good that I could have eaten the AIR. I raced to the kitchen and poured myself a generous cup of coffee, complete with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. I retreated into the living room to enjoy my treat when Paul was all like, baby, what’d you do with the pot of coffee? And I was like, it’s right there in the COFFEE MAKER, duh (complete with a know-it-all lilt.) He was like, no it’s not- oh wait. There it is, on the stove eye. THE STOVE EYE. You put the coffee on the STOVE EYE.
I’m sure, my friends, I will have many more of these stories to come.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Feb 14th
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!
This time last year, I was 39 weeks pregnant and ready to meet my little guy! Little did I know that he would actually arrive SIX DAYS after his estimated due date. (Exactly why it’s ESTIMATED, right?) An extra six days may seem like a walk in the park to some of you Mega Moms… but me? Me, I was in agony. That was six extra days of bloating, back pain, insomnia, waddling, swollen ankles, and achy bones. Even my TOENAILS were in pain.
Valentine’s Day ‘09
Seriously, I don’t see how some of you do it. You make pregnancy look so easy and… fun! But for me, during the first four months, I was so weak that it put even a bad case of the flu to shame. I didn’t have the energy to WIPE OFF THE COUNTERS.
That’s some serious fatigue.
But hey. It takes a lot of energy to GROW A LUNG, right?
And oh, the morning sickness. I couldn’t keep anything down. Nothing. I remember before I could even get out of bed in the mornings, Paul had to bring me a glass of apple juice and some saltines. And he was not allowed to jostle the bed. And yes, that included NO WIGGLING HIS TOES.
The morning sickness was so over-the-top vicious that just the SOUND of someone farting made me throw up. Seriously. Whenever I heard someone fart, even if they were in the other room, I would puke. And everything, I mean EVERY. THING. made me gag. But not just a regular old gag. No, I would gag like I was about to projectile-puke up a massive hairball. WHO DOES THAT?? Well, folks. Apparently I do when I am pregnant.
And get this. I would throw up and the very sight of it would make me throw up even more… so before you knew it, I was on this vicious cycle of throwing up, which made me throw up, which made me throw up… so yeah, I was in the bathroom constantly. It was becoming my second home.
Then there was the second trimester. It was easier than the first for me because the extreme fatigue and nausea finally subsided when I was about 18 weeks pregnant… but then the body aches started. And I had this uncontrollable urge to thoroughly clean and reorganize the entire house.
Only I had this intense back pain that only abated when I wore HEELS.
As in, HIGH HEELS.
So here I was, in my second trimester with a bulging belly and sweat pants (because you know how important comfort is to pregnant women) and high heels, cleaning the kitchen.
The third trimester?
IT FELT LIKE DEATH.
Oh, the pain. Pain, pain, pain. Every single step I took was agony. My feet were swollen. My toes cramped a lot. And my back? It felt like someone had jammed a hot poker into my lower back and left it there, jostling it every couple of minutes for some extra oomph. And constant peeing. The most sleepless night I ever had, I got up to pee nine times..
NINE TIMES. IN ONE NIGHT.
But you know what? Even though I had a painful pregnancy that was nothing like the giddyness that I had imagined, I wouldn’t give any of that up for anything, though. My little guy is so worth it! And I would go through all of that and worse just to have him here with me. And I know there are so, so many women out there who would give anything to be able to get pregnant. I am very fortunate… and all the “negatives” about pregnancy just give me something to joke about later.


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