life with a new baby
Posts tagged crying
Normalcy Returns
Jan 4th
Because Paul was able to take a little over two weeks off work for Christmas vacation, today was his first day back at work.
Nathan and I missed him while he was gone.
When Nathan first got up this morning, he didn’t realize that his daddy would be gone all day. He was in such a wonderful mood… we spend time playing Peek-a-Boo and Pat-a-Cake, I helped him with his walking skills, and I even held him in my lap and snuggled with him while I watched a short television show.
He acted like he was on top of the world while he was in my lap. He would watch the tv for a few seconds, then he would turn and look at me, grinning from ear to ear while bouncing gleefully up and down, waving his arms exuberantly while drool dripped down his chin.
Everything was a peachy as a postcard’s sunny day until I put him down for a nap.
Well, putting him down for a nap itself wasn’t so bad. He was excited to lay under the mobile and I could hear him cooing happily as I quietly exited the room. The problem occurred when he WOKE UP from his nap.
He totally woke up on the wrong side of the crib.
He was angry, sleepy, pouty, and didn’t hesitate to let me know. He cried and cried for the remainder of the day, escalating to the point of me seriously contemplating yanking out my own hair in frustration. He didn’t want to be held. He didn’t want to be sang to. He didn’t even want to play with his Winnie the Pooh.
I think he missed his daddy.
Once Paul came home, Nathan was still ill-tempered until we put him to bed. Like magic, his tears dried, his angry wails ceased, and a huge smile lit his face.
I have a son who doesn’t like to nap, but who loves going to bed at night. He is not like any other baby I’ve ever known. Well, the fighting-the-naps isn’t a rarity, but the excitement about going to bed at night certainly is.
And the normalcy of Nathan Rising returns…
The Laughing Baby
Dec 7th
Babies are great. They are so precious and sweet, and not to mention, hilarious. Not only because they cause mini-catastrophes such as mega poops and fountains of pee, and not even just because they have hilarious facial expressions when they taste new foods, but also because they will find humor in the slightest things.
Last night was one such night. I was getting Nathan ready for bed, following his nightly routine of a bedtime story and a song. I was singing “You Are My Sunshine,” and every time I said the word happy, he would start laughing. Especially when I said the word happy with a long, breathy “H.”
So I couldn’t help myself. I sat him down in the glider and started saying the word happy, just to hear him laugh.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkyPm8j248U
As I watched him smiling and laughing, I felt simultaneously euphoric and sad at the same time. Euphoric because my son is such a happy, carefree child. But sad because he is growing so fast and is turning into a little boy right in front of my eyes.
I can’t believe he’s nine months old already!
It seems like just yesterday Paul and I brought our screaming bundle of joy home from the hospital. The hospital we went to and the experience they provided me, however, was horrible (click here to read about it.) It doesn’t seem like nine months ago, I thought I was on the brink of losing my sanity due to sheer exhaustion.
Sometimes the colic seemed like it would never end.
But, eventually, it did end. The sun came out. Butterflies started dancing again. That ominous black cloud hanging over my head dissipated.
Now? Now, Nathan hardly ever just cries for no reason. Now, it’s usually because his diaper is dirty, he’s hungry, uncomfortable, tired, not feeling well, etc. It’s become a process of elimination, which is SO MUCH more manageable than having no idea why your infant is screaming as if he’s in the worst pain of his life.
I’ll take days like last night ANY DAY. I love those laughs and smiles. I enjoy interacting with him, teaching him new things, and watching him learn and grow. Even if he is growing up so quickly.
Mind Readers and Tinfoil Hats
Dec 3rd
I’m going to have to make a hat out of tinfoil and start wearing it every day. Tinfoil is supposed to block others from reading your mind, right? Because if that’s the case, I think I’ll have to make more than one.
I bet right now, you are wondering if I’ve lost touch with reality, aren’t you?
Well, I haven’t. But I’m pretty sure Nathan is so in-tune with me that he is starting to read my thoughts. Not in a coherent way… not like I’m thinking about the color red and so he will, too. More like, if he’s sound asleep and I start thinking about him, he wakes up. Or if we’re all asleep and I have a dream about him, he wakes up. Or sometimes if I just think about his name in my head, HE WAKES UP.
WITHOUT FAIL.
In order to keep him asleep, I have to try to refrain from thinking too deeply about him.
I’ve also noticed that we both get fussy simultaneously. When I am in a bad mood, so is he. When he is in a bad mood, so am I. When one of us is happy, so is the other. It’s like our emotions and feelings are feeding off of each other, constantly linked. His emotions seem to be like a mirror-image of my own.
Other moms have always told me that children are linked to their parents like that. But I never knew it was so strong. It’s like a little piece of my soul has detached itself from me and has formed its own body.
I can’t let Nathan see me become frustrated. If I do, the poor little guy loses his cool. And trust me, it’s not fun when Nathan loses his cool. You’d think the end of the world is rapidly approaching. But even when I strain to hide any negative emotions, SOMEHOW HE STILL KNOWS.
It makes things difficult.
Especially breastfeeding. He’s going through his difficult breastfeeding phase again. He only likes to nurse laying down in bed. If I try to sit anywhere, he acts like I’m torturing him. But then while we’re laying in bed, he’ll stop feeding and fling himself away, flailing his little arms and legs around in a fit of protest against, well, that’s the problem.
I DON’T KNOW.
It’s so stressful when your child doesn’t want to eat. I try to sing to him, rub his little head, give him gentle kisses… but so far, it doesn’t phase him. I try not to let him see how anxious it makes me when he flails around instead of eating, but my little mind reader picks up on it anyways, upsetting himself even more.
I’m trying to make it to a year. That’s three more months. I will consider myself very fortunate if Nathan continues to breastfeed much longer than twelve months. Until then, I’m thinking about making that tinfoil hat.
Sleep Deprivation and Soul Death
Nov 17th
Things are rough around here. All of us, meaning my husband and I, are functioning with sloth-like energy. Our souls are on the verge of soul-death. We have the energy to slowly put food in our mouths, chew it until it’s mashed up just enough to go down our throats, and swallow. And that’s about it.
We’re pretty tired.
Nathan is going through his I-Don’t-Wanna-Sleep-For-More-Than-2-Hours-At-A-Time phase.
STILL.
He’s been doing this for a number of weeks now. I don’t know if it’s a mega-long growth spurt, separation anxiety, teething, or if he’s seriously plotting different ways to cause my husband and I to teeter on the brink of insanity… but the little guy will NOT let us sleep.
We put him to bed, and he’ll stay up for a good 30-45 minutes talking to himself.
GOD HELP US ALL, he’s already taking after me.
So he’ll be in our room, feet thunking heavily on the swing, shouting about world politics or hunger in Africa or whatever the hell it is babies are talking about when they say “Nya nya rar rar MA MA! Nanananana! MA MA! nya nya rar rar rar!” for hours at a time. Then, he’ll doze off.
Finally. IT SLEEPS.
FOR TWO HOURS. Three if we’re really lucky. Then he’ll start crying, wanting to be fed or comforted or hugged or talked to… so we’ll do all of the above. I’ll breast feed him until his little belly is full of breast milk. I even try really hard to ignore when he BITES THE CRAP out of me. With his dagger teeth miniature enameled FEAR MONGERS. Top him off with a bit of formula. Put him back in bed. Kiss his sweet little head.
And he’ll appear to doze off. I think he actually stays awake, eyes closed because he must maintain appearances, plotting what he can do to really drive Mommy and Daddy up the wall.
EUREKA!
He starts talking. Loudly. Incessantly. He bangs his little fists on the sides of the swing, kicks his little feet on the seat, and creates a commotion to be reckoned with. Like he’s practicing for world-dictatorship and nothing is going to stand in his way.
He has been doing this Every. Single. Night. Without fail.
Paul and I will roll over, look at each other, and sigh in unison because that’s what parents on the brink of losing their sanity do… they SIGH IN UNISON. I still can’t bend over because of the pain of recent surgery, so Paul has to get up, check Nathan’s diaper just to be sure, and escort our Rising Dictator into his room because Paul brings home the bacon, so he really has to have at least thirty seconds of sleep a night.
Then Paul comes back to bed and crawls under the covers. I roll over, we look at each other, and we SIGH IN UNISON because that’s what sleep-deprived, guilty-feeling parents do when they have to put their little guy in his room to sleep for the night.
Nathan doesn’t seem to mind too much. Amazingly, he stops his tirade and sleeps quietly. Paul and I, on the other hand, continue to toss and turn, spontaneously waking up to look at each other and SIGH IN UNISON because that’s what sleep deprived, guilty feeling parents do when they miss feeling the presence of their little guy making thunking noises with his Monkey Feet.
I start to wonder if Nathan is just being quiet because his feelings are hurt and he thinks we don’t love him.
I try to sleep but can’t. Images of an un-loved and hurt-feeling Nathan float aimlessly around in my sleep-deprived mind. I am cloaked with guilt. I toss and turn, imagining Nathan is so overcome with such a deep sorrow that he can no longer talk. So I roll over and see Paul is thinking the same thing, so we SIGH IN UNISON and he gets up and peeks in Nathan’s room.
This continues throughout the night.
This too shall pass, right?
RIGHT?
Please, for the love of all who need sleep, tell me I am right…
Recent Comments
Aww thanks, Tina, it was good to see you too! I wish I could have talked to you more... I ...
I'm sorry you all had a rough go yesterday, but it was good to see you both :) I have ...
Thank you, I appreciate that. It's so cool to hear people say that we look alike... I've been told there ...
Awww... what really nice photos! You two look so alike, especially with the way you smile.