life with a new baby
Posts tagged crying
Stubborn is as stubborn does
Jul 11th
Posted by Jen in Oh the things Nathan does
My kid is so stubborn.
I mean, really, really stubborn. And strong-willed. Determined. Steadfast.
Just a few days ago, I heard one of my cats meow in exasperation. I slinked through the kitchen and caught Nathan in the living room, throwing tufts of cat fur into the air and DANCING IN IT while clapping his hands. I saw my cat Andrew hunkered wide-eyed in the corner. He looked as if he thought he was naked.
I bet he felt naked with all the fur Nathan had pulled out and was DANCING in.
“NO! Nathan, that’s not nice! You don’t hurt the cats… Time Out!” I said as I grabbed his cat-fur covered hands. I steered him into his Time Out Corner and set the timer for three minutes (the amount of time Nathan gets in time out depends on his infraction. Milder infractions get him two minutes). When three minutes was up, I returned to Nathan and squatted down on his level.
“Do you understand why Mommy put you in time out?” I asked.
He looked at his hands.
“You pulled out the cat’s fur. You hurt the cat. No touching the cats, Nathan.”
“I’m sorry,” he replied as he did the sign for sorry across his chest.
“Nathan, I need you to say ‘No cat,’” I said.
Nathan mumbled something unintelligible.
“If you want out of time out, you need to say ‘No cat,’” I prodded. Nathan crossed his arms over his chest.
“NO!” he yelled.
“Okay then, you made the choice to have more time out,” I replied. I set the timer for another minute. When the timer went off, I repeated the process.
Again.
And again.
And again.
And again…
In fact, I repeated the process a grand total of THIRTY SEVEN times. That means that THIRTY SEVEN times in a row, I asked Nathan if he was ready to say “No cat.” And THIRTY SEVEN times in a row, Nathan obstinately refused. Until finally, a grand total of FORTY minutes later (including the three minutes for his first time out) and with tears streaming down his cheeks and snot dripping out his nose, he begrudgingly gave me what I asked for.
“No cat,” he whispered. That’s right. He wouldn’t even speak it. HE WHISPERED IT.
With his arms crossed over his chest and his chin up in the air.
But at least he said it, right? My kid may be stubborn, but his mama is even MORE stubborn. Getting tired of the discipline and giving in is not an option for me… giving in means that Nathan would know that all he needs to do to get his way is put up a fight and eventually I’ll cave. And then? Then I’m left dealing with an A-1 Brat. Not gonna happen in this house. It is my responsibility to prepare this child for life, and letting him have his way teaches him nothing.
Even if it takes THIRTY SEVEN repetitions.
Hey, no one ever said parenthood was easy.
Empathy
May 4th
Posted by Jen in Oh the things Nathan does
The other day, I was watching a TV show when one of the characters started sobbing. Nathan heard it and ran into the living room as fast as his little legs could carry him. Concerned, he ran right up to the TV and said to the sobbing character, “Hey, you okay?”
I think he’s catching on to the whole empathy thing. What a sweet little guy he is!
Growing an adult
Mar 31st
Posted by Jen in Oh the things Nathan does
Yesterday, Paul put Nathan in time out for throwing his toys. He explained to Nathan that he’s not allowed to throw things, and the next time he does it, he’ll go right back into time out. Well lo-and-behold, guess who threw his toys again? So Nathan got put in time out once more. But that time Nathan got put in time out, he said, “I sawee! I sawee” (I’m sorry! I’m sorry!) while frantically signing “sorry” in sign language. And then? Then he looks at me and says “Mama, pweese! Pweese! I sawee!” (Mama, please! Please! I’m sorry!) And then you know what happened?
I DIED A LITTLE INSIDE.
Because it completely breaks my heart to discipline my son and see those tears splashing down his cheeks. But you know what? It’s not about me. It’s about what’s best for Nathan. And it is absolutely NOT in his best interest for me to be self-centered, refusing to discipline him because disciplining him makes me feel bad, while it harms him in the long run by turning him into an entitled, self-absorbed, spoiled, bratty adult.
There are way too may of those in the world today, you guys feel me?
Children are a blank piece of paper. We, as the parents, write on that paper who our children are going to become as adults. I want Nathan to understand that there are consequences for everything that he does. Some of those consequences are good. Others are bad. And as much as it breaks my heart to discipline him and see those glistening tears cascading down his little cheeks, I know that it has to be done.
But you know what? He is one happy kid. Seriously. He knows he’s loved, because we set limits with him. He needs that security, and he is thriving. And, if I do say so myself, although he has his typical toddler fits, I have a wonderful, precious, sweet, kind, and loving child who I love more than life itself.
A growing little guy
Mar 10th
Guess what? Nathan has his two-year well-check the other day! Of course, with all the problems we had with weight gain when he was an infant, I was very eager to see where he was on the growth chart when compared to other kids his age. He’s perfect! He’s in the 75th percentile for height and … are you ready? … the 90th percentile for weight!! And no, he’s not overweight because he’s so tall. I am so proud of my growing little boy!
But. Let me tell you, the office visit was WORSE than the last time I took him when he was sick. Nathan was quite angry and rather indignant that we dared to put him through such an ordeal. And when it was time to be weighed, all hell broke loose. Again. Paul had to stand on the scale with Nathan, and the whole time, Nathan was screaming and had his little toes curled around Paul’s jacket looking quite a bit like a crazy little tree frog.
And then when the doctor came in, Nathan REMEMBERED HIM. And he started crying while frantically attempting to clamor up Paul’s torso. The doctor, trying to alleviate Nathan’s anxiety, chuckled and stepped out of the room. He poked his head in and made silly faces, but Nathan can see straight through any distraction techniques. It hardly ever works with that kid.
So the doctor came into the room and tried other techniques with Nathan… making funny noises, showing Nathan his phone. But it was all to no avail. Nathan was not about to forget about why he was so angry.
“So which one of you was the stubborn child when you were little?” the doctor asked us through Nathan’s brain-piercing screeches as he checked Nathan’s ears.
“We both were,” we replied.
“Oh,” said the doctor. “So Nathan’s got a double-dose of stubbornness in the gene pool. You guys have a long road ahead of you!”
No kidding.
And we’re not even going to talk about how bad it was when they had to prick his little finger. I’m sure you can hear his wails in your head right now as you read this…
But even with Nathan being so darn stubborn, he’s still so sweet and precious. He’s my little Cuddle Bug; he loves nothing more than to curl up with me and give me kisses and hugs. It’s definitely hard raising someone so strong-willed, but Paul and I are the perfect parents for the job. We’re smart, resourceful, and quick to think outside the box.
Besides, the Terrible Two’s don’t last forever!
Recent Comments
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