Regretfully, I did not. But only because I had food poisoning from (I’m pretty sure) some gravy I ate for lunch on New Year’s Eve. I started feeling queasy 3-4 hours after I ate it… and then about 8 hours after consumption, it hit full force. I had waves of chills hitting me every 15 seconds, nausea, and my whole body hurt. My joints and muscles ached, and anything touching my skin caused pain, even laying in bed. I was lightheaded and dizzy and (of course) completely lost my appetite. I only threw up one time, but it was so violent that I couldn’t breathe and it felt like someone sucker-punched me in my sternum. It started around 9:00 on Saturday evening. The worst was over by 24 hours, but I had some lingering symptoms that lasted an additional 24 hours after that. So I was sick New Year’s Eve and all day New Year’s Day. Let me tell you, it was NOT a good way to bring in the new year!

But there is always a silver lining.

While I was laid up in bed, I was able to get caught up on a lot of stuff I was behind on (like emails) from my… NEW PHONE! That’s right, I totally upgraded from my old (like, REALLY old) RAZR to a smartphone. This one in particular. My husband got it for me for Christmas, and I love it! There’s a huge difference going from a “dumbphone” that can’t do anything to a smartphone. I can’t believe all the things I can do from it… it’s like having a hand-held computer! And the slide-out keyboard is great. It also has a virtual on-screen keyboard, but I totally prefer the slide-out one. It’s much easier to type with. I’m totally addicted to it now… it’s SO much easier to check the news, emails, and even Facebook from the convenience of my phone. It’s MEGA AWESOME!

So anyway, my poor husband had to bring in the New Year all by himself. I’m just thankful to be finally feeling like my old self again. Everything here is getting back to normal after the Holidays. Paul has returned to work after a 2-week vacation. We had a wonderful time!! It was awesome having him home for so long, and I miss him when he’s not here. But on the bright side, I can finally get caught up on the housework! Christmas came and pooped everywhere… my house is still a mess! New toys scattered everywhere… Christmas decorations still out… boxes strewn throughout the rooms… counter tops cluttered… refrigerator stuffed full of leftovers… It comes with the territory and it was totally worth it! I had an AWESOME Christmas this year so I’m not complaining.

I am hoping to get the Christmas post written in the next few days. In the meantime, check out the picture.

It’s a new book Nathan got for Christmas. It didn’t take him long to scribble in it. I can’t turn my head for a second around here without him coloring on something or making big messes! Oh life with a toddler. But it’s a life I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Now don’t you feel better? Good.

So besides me being a lousy blogger during the Christmas season, everything here is going pretty much as planned. We have all of our shopping done and most of the presents wrapped… Paul has been off work for the past week, so we’ve really been enjoying that as well. Nathan is amped up and totally ready for Christmas.

Last weekend, Paul and I took Nathan to the mall with us. We arrived before 9am, so the crowds were light. All the stores were playing Christmas music, and Nathan sang along! “Jingle Bells” and “Oh Christmas Tree” are two of his favorites. He got to see Santa while we were at the mall, although we didn’t stand in line and get a picture taken. Maybe next year when Nathan is ready.

My house is a total wreck right now. I’ve been so busy with all this Christmas stuff that my housework has gotten behind. Hell, I can’t even keep up with the dirty clothes. So as much as I am looking forward to Christmas, I am also looking forward to it being over so I can finally get some things DONE around here.

So I just wanted to pop in and let y’all know that all is good here… we haven’t dropped off the face of the earth or successfully cloned an army of ourselves. (Because who would be interested in blogging after you clone an ENTIRE ARMY of yourself!) And don’t worry- my blogging will pick up again after the Holidays are over and we get back into the swing of things. In the meantime, I hope everyone is enjoying the season (no matter what you may celebrate) and I will still be posting now that I’ve gotten the big stressors (such as present-buying and wrapping) out of the way.

Now to break out the mop…

I have most of my Christmas shopping done! I spent all day Saturday braving the crowds, getting jostled by oblivious texters while walking crowded walkways. I seriously can’t stand people who text and conveniently forget that the world around them continues to revolve.

Oh yeah. Speaking of texters, I was almost hit the other day by a moron who was texting while driving (again. This seems to happen nearly every time I drive). I was passing her in the left lane because she apparently didn’t have the brainpower to keep her speed consistant… it varied drastically. So anyway, as I was passing her, I noticed she was looking down more than she was looking at the road. And then she veered into my lane and nearly hit me and Nathan as she was looking down.

People who text and drive aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. They are apparently clueless that they have greatly increased their odds of crashing and injuring someone because of their own self-absorption. They are thinking only about themselves and what THEY want.  I just hope that neither me or any of my family members or friends are hurt because of such brazen acts of sheer stupidity and self-centeredness.

So anyway, I braved the masses, hit some awesome sales, and got just about everything I needed to get for Christmas. I’m not usually able to get everything done this far ahead of time, so it’s nice to be able to relax and not stress as Christmas Day approaches.

In other news, Nathan is still being a bit ornery. This child is incredibly strong-headed and stubborn, and he keeps doing things he knows he’s not supposed to do just to test us and see what we will do about it. His most recent mischief involves climbing up onto his bookshelf to retrieve the baby powder. While I was distracted. On the computer. Can you guess where I am going with this?

Not only did he dump the baby powder all over his dresser, but he tried to pry the safety lock off one of the drawers. We’ve been having issues keeping it adhered to the dresser, and Nathan has been taking full advantage of this weakness. No big deal… it’s just clothes in there… but still. It’s the principle.

And now he is in time-out for climbing on top of his toy chest and messing with his radio (which is off limits!). I was on the computer, beginning to type this post (it seems most of his mischief occurs when I’m writing in this blog) and then I suddenly hear music blaring from his radio. I storm into his room only to catch him standing on the floor, smiling sweetly.

LIKE HE THOUGHT I WOULDN’T FIGURE IT OUT.

Christmas was great. Ok, make that really freakin’ adorable. When Nathan first came into the living room, he didn’t even notice the presents under the tree. But once he DID notice them, he made a beeline right for the Christmas tree, craning his neck as his arms waved ahead of him as if to summon the presents directly into his slobbery outstretched palms.

After he opened some of his presents, he played with them and was really enjoying this thing called Life when all of a sudden the Bad Mood Fairy came and pooped on everything. Nathan was having so much fun playing with the presents that he had already opened that he absolutely did not want to open any more. Paul and I would hand him a present only to have it slapped away with a dissatisfied grunt. He let us know that he needed to play with his newly opened toys for a while (as in, we had to delay the rest of Christmas!) before he would even think about opening any more. Which I would have never expected. I’ve always heard of kids ripping through all of their presents before playing with them. But Nathan’s already proven to us that he’s not like other kids… he makes up his own rules!

Toys!

Having a very important conversation with Ernie

Ooh! I wonder if I can get in there through osmosis?

Didn’t work. Maybe this book will teach me how to do it.

Andrew sez ozmosis worx evry time.

Paul was apparently too slow for Nathan, so Nathan decided to “help.”

Oh sweet, sweet success!

Can life get any better than Hot Wheels?

Why yes, it can. Just sit in a box and you will understand.

“Don’t worry, Daddy. I’ll help you get the toy out.” 

Showing us how to REALLY rip open a present

He is quite pleased with his loot 

And I love it!

Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave me with much time for blogging. I know, I’ve not been posting as frequently as I would like. Heck, I haven’t even had time to do my Yoga, which sucks because I can feel the Christmas Pounds piling on slowly… like I’m walking in mud and each step is a little harder to take because mud keeps caking on my shoe.

Only, IT’S NOT MUD I’m actually talking about.

Doing Yoga is fun, though. I have this DVD that came with the Yoga mat Paul bought me. It’s a mixture of Yoga and Pilates… and let me tell you, if you are out of shape like me, it’s HARD! I mean, there are all these crazy poses I’m trying to figure out. Stuff that I can’t even pronounce. But dang it, Internet, I am bound and determined to lose this weight. So I will do as many Cobras and Downward Dogs as it takes.

Even though I am quite sure I look more a spastic mouse in a blender than someone doing Yoga.

So as soon as the holidays roll over, I’m going to resume my Yoga and hopefully, and I am saying this with all my fingers and toes crossed, I will see results soon.

We took a ton of pictures of him sitting in front of the tree (which, by the way, thanks to our cats with their Go-Go-Gadget-Arms (click here to read the catnip story), we couldn’t have any ornaments dangling on the lower branches.

When we got up Christmas morning, I put Nathan in a Christmas-themed onesie and plopped him down in front of the tree for some pictures. He wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about and his boredom became quite obvious. He kept looking at me like I was a total goon for sitting him in front of a tree with no ornaments on the bottom part.

So I did what any good mother would do to brighten her child’s day.

I HANDED HIM THE REMOTE.

You know, the remote that is coated with germs. The remote that is off-limits to little baby teeth and slobbery fingers that go straight to baby’s mouth. Of course, I sanitized it before handing it over because I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF.

At first, Nathan was a little confused as to why I handed him this Mysterious Gadget.

He slowly ran his little hands over the remote, turning it over and over in his hands. At first, he wasn’t quite sure why I handed him something that was usually off limits.

Then, once he realized that I had handed him the remote on purpose and he could play with it all he wanted, he became a happy Nathan.

So happy, in fact, that he couldn’t stop laughing.

To him, holding the remote was WAY COOLER than opening those presents. Who cares about the Ultimate Coolness residing under all that colorful wrapping paper? To him, nothing could possibly compare to playing with the remote.

In fact, he was so excited that he somehow managed to fling the remote out of his death grip. He strained like there was no tomorrow in an effort to retrieve this new-found awesomeness.

Got it!

He raised the remote triumphantly in front of his face, looking as happy as a clam with his trophy back in his hands. I imagined if he could speak, he would be all like, Look Mom! All by myself!

He wasn’t interested in his presents and wanted to play only with the remote, but we couldn’t let that happen. It was his first Christmas and I was ARMED WITH A CAMERA. I was going to take pictures! Of shredded wrapping paper! And big, toothy grins!

I started making funny faces and he dropped the remote into his lap, temporarily forgetting about it as I started hauling the colorful presents out from under the tree.

He decided that unwrapping presents is way cooler than playing with the remote after all!

This year, it took us three days to get the Christmas tree decorated and all our Christmas decorations laid out.

Last year, when I was six months pregnant, it took six hours. This year, we have a nine-month old little guy who insists on having our undivided attention. That means that nothing is worthy of stealing Nathan’s thunder.

Christmas tree included.

We started putting the tree up on Thanksgiving evening. Paul hauled the Christmas tree and all the decorations in from the shed. We started pulling out the limbs for assembly when we noticed something peculiar.

Something was awry with the limbs of our Christmas tree.

For once, it had nothing to do with baby poop. But it was something else that was equally disturbing.

Something that had left clumps of insulation throughout a handful of limbs.

A MOUSE NEST.

Yes, a mouse had built a little home for itself in the bowels of our Christmas tree limbs.

Expensive Christmas tree limbs. This is the kind of tree you can’t just throw away because of some mouse. Not that our tree is some grand, magnificent sight… but for three people living off of one income, it’s magnificent enough to not just throw away.

Fortunately, the little home was abandoned. There was no mouse to be seen. Just tufts of insulation embedded in the limbs of the tree, a grim reminder of the MOUSE THAT ONCE WAS. The mouse that lived (and I’m sure died) in our shed.

Remnants of a happy life once lived.

So we spent the entire Thanksgiving evening with bottles of Lysol and paper towels, sanitizing the shit out of each and every Christmas tree limb, peeling off wisps of mouse nest from in between the fake plastic pine needles.

But then there is my allergies. Apparently, I am allergic to Fake Christmas Tree Dust and Abandoned Mouse Houses and I had a pretty severe allergy attack. My rapid-fire sneezing has been non-stop since Thanksgiving. Every time I walk into the living room, my eyes start to swell, my nose starts itching, and my chest starts that familiar I’m-going-to-suffocate-you burn.

It feels like my body is TRYING TO KILL ME.

Because apparently, when we were hauling fake plastic Christmas tree limbs out from their temporary coffin, we let loose a cloud of Danger Dust. The kind of dust that accumulates on things outside, even things that are in a shed… a dust composed primarily of leaves, pollen, and mouse-house allergens.

So I’ve resigned myself to deep cleaning the entire house. The dust has gotta go.

I banish it. 

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem as if Nathan has my allergies. Thankfully. The kid isn’t even phased. He likes looking at the twinkling lights on the tree, reaching out for the ornaments, and laughing at Mommy’s multiple sneeze marathons.