life with a new baby
Posts tagged annoyances
You can’t have your cake…
Sep 1st
I hate that saying “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” It makes no sense. None at all. Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly what it’s supposed to mean, but that’s such a nonsensical way to say it. There is no point in having a cake if you aren’t supposed to eat it. What else are you supposed to do with it? Stare at it? Chew it up and then spit it right back out? Or how about blow it up with a bazooka? Or devise some ingenious way to use it for murder? Maybe recipients of cakes should use them to smother people. Or perhaps the cakes could be used as bait to attract insects. I don’t know why anyone would want to do that, but I also don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to eat their cake. Some people claim the saying makes more sense if you say ”You can’t eat your cake and have it, too” but you know what? That is just as illogical.
Because who in their right mind would want to just have a cake and not eat it? It’s not like saving it doubles its value. You can’t resell it. So by golly, if someone gives me a cake, I’m damn well going to eat it! Not just admire it. Or save it until it goes stale. Or use it for murder. I’m going to cut it up into delicious pieces and CONSUME THAT SHIT.
So will someone tell me, what is the point in having a cake if you can’t eat it? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CHOCOLATE, someone please tell me!
No use crying over spilled milk
Sep 1st
Nathan has decided that when he’s done drinking his milk that instead of swallowing what’s left in his mouth, he’s going to open his mouth and let it all spill out. Nevermind that he may have just been changed into a clean shirt because he did the same thing 30 minutes ago. Nevermind that the milk flows down the clean shirt and onto the carpet and then that, too, must then be cleaned. And oh, guess who does the cleaning? I’ll give you a hint: It’s not Nathan.
What a weekend
Aug 24th
What a weekend. First, I stubbed my toe so badly that it turned this gross, mottled brown color. Thankfully, I didn’t break it, but it hurt like a biatch for quite a while. Secondly… oh man, oh man. Secondly, I tried to go to church on Sunday. I walked into the building with Nathan on my hip, but I was almost immediately given dirty looks by a number of people. Only two ladies were friendly to me. When I dropped Nathan off in the nursery, even the lady in charge there was curt and rude. Finally, as I was walking upstairs to the service, someone forcibly PUSHED me out of her way. After that, I got a couple more rude looks. And ladies, I know you know what I am talking about… where they look you up and down and then they sneer. SNEER. As if I was loathsome and disgusting.
It made me cry.
Which made me mad.
So I turned back around, grabbed Nathan out of the nursery, and left. I didn’t even stay for the service. Because I know where I am not welcome, and I was absolutely not welcome there. It was very hurtful and disappointing.
However, I wasn’t going to allow such behavior to prevent me from attending church. So, with Nathan in my arms, I walked next door to a church of a totally different denomination, and the difference in the atmosphere was like night and day. The people were so kind, friendly, warm, and welcoming. No one, not one single person, was rude to me or made me feel bad.
The experience I had at the first church was so surreal that I felt like I had been plucked from reality and thrust into someone’s high-school nightmare. It was such a judgemental environment, and I absolutely will not ever step foot in there again.
I don’t know why people, especially people who call themselves Christians, can be so rude and disrespectful to a newcomer in their own church.
Then, last but not least, Nathan was bitten by something on his leg. It’s nothing serious, and he’s not sick or running a fever, but he has this angry little welt that he scratches so much that it’s scabbed. I tried putting a band-aid over it, and of course, he just yanked it off.
So now I’m looking forward to relaxing and letting some of this stress melt off me. Hopefully my toe will heal soon… it is NOT FUN having an achy toe.
Because chocolate milk should never be wasted
Aug 20th
So yesterday, as I was cleaning the kitchen, I had Nathan in his room with the baby gate up. When I was done cleaning, I decided to make myself something to eat, along with a cold glass of chocolate milk. I poured my milk, walked into the living room, and set it on the coffee table as my lunch was heating in the microwave. Nathan, in the meantime, wanted to hang out with me. So I walked him from his room to the living room, where I left him for a total of ten seconds in order to retrieve my lunch from the microwave.
When I returned to the living room with my lunch, Nathan had discovered my glass of chocolate milk. And by discovered, I mean he had put his entire arm, UP TO HIS ELBOW, inside the cup. And when he saw me looming in the living-room doorway, his eyes became about as big as saucers and he completely froze. With his entire arm planted firmly in my delicious glass of chocolate milk.
Yes, I still drank it.
Every last drop.
I have a Zombler
Jul 28th
Me: “So Nathan has been walking around the house whining for the past few days because he’s teething. His little arms are constantly outstretched, wanting me to pick him up. But since he doesn’t talk much, he just whines this constant “Uuuhhhhhh! Uuuuhhhhh! Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh!” I love him dearly, but he’s been driving me nuts.”
Friend: “I see. I’ve been through this, too. Do you know what you’re dealing with?”
Me: “No. What?”
Friend: “You’re dealing with a zombler.”
Me: “…”
Friend: “Yeah. You know, a zombie-toddler. Zombler.”
Me: “That’s it! I TOTALLY HAVE A ZOMBLER!”
Insomnia
Jul 28th
You guys, I have insomnia. I go through bouts of it…sometimes, I can’t sleep as much as 4 or 5 nights a week. Last night was one of those. I tossed and turned from the time Paul and I went to bed until about 4:30 in the morning, when my flailing jarred Paul from his sleep. He patted my back and told me to not think about it, to just lay there and relax and hopefully sleep would come.
I dozed from 5 am til almost 6 am, when I was roused from my partial slumber by my husband wiggling his toes. DAMN TOE-WIGGLER.
My back was killing me (as usual) so I laid there and tried to ignore the pain until around 7:15, when I got up and ate a bowl of cereal and took some Ibuprofen. Back to bed. Finally dozed off again from 7:30 until 8:45, when Nathan woke up. I got up, changed his diaper, and was able to sleep for a little bit longer while my husband got ready for work.
I hate when I can’t sleep. Ever read the book Insomnia by Stephen King? I tell myself my insomnia could always be worse. I could be seeing little bald doctors jumping in the shadows and auras streaming from people’s noggins. So my insomnia isn’t that bad…. but it’s still enough to where it drives me nuts trying to take care of a rather demanding 17-month old while functioning on only a couple hours of sleep.
(Yeah, can you believe Nathan is 17 months already? Where does time go? Oh wait. I know. IT DISAPPEARS ALONG WITH MY SLEEP.)
There is always nap time, right?
Recent Comments
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