Posts tagged andrew

The Malevolent Laughter of Cats

Nov 24th

Posted by Jen in Pets

8 comments

Sometimes when you have pets, they start thinking they’re human after a while.

And, embarrassingly enough, sometimes you treat them as if they were human.

Sometimes, when you are on the brink of losing your sanity due to lack of adult conversation for the duration of the day, you play pranks on them. Because you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO than talk baby-talk with you baby, clean the house, and play pranks on your pets.

So anyways, the other day, Kayli and Andrew were snuggled contentedly against each other, basking in each other’s fuzzy body heat. Under the curious gaze of Turbo (not pictured) and his tail (pictured.)

Snuggling

Of course, when I see animals who are peacefully sleeping in such a comfortable position, I JUST CAN’T HELP IT. 

I have to do SOMETHING.

So I sneak up as quietly as my creaking bones will allow.

Kayli opens her eyes slightly. Andrew stretches and rolls contentedly onto his back and grunts with warm satisfaction. Grunts, I tell you!

Rolling over

So, with a mischievous smile, I bend over to poke Andrew’s exposed belly. Because that’s what I do when a cat is sleeping peacefully on his back with his belly exposed. I POKE THEM.

I bend over.

And my body starts popping. Just like it does when I’m trying to sneak into Nathan’s room to check on him while he’s napping.

I try to engage in The Stance (mentioned here) but to no avail.

The cats instantly wake up. They see my outstretched finger poised in midair. And, I swear, they laugh at me. LAUGHED AT ME! With creepy glowing eyes!

Laughing

Ok, maybe they weren’t really laughing at my impending old age. Or my creaking bones. Maybe they were just yawning. But still. It looks eerily similar to malevolent laughter to me.

Like they just envisioned poking me in my sleep…

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Andrew

Aug 29th

Posted by Jen in Pets

2 comments

andrew

Andrew's standard position

Nicknames: Landru (after a machine character on Star Trek), Banana

Andrew is… Andrew. 

Unique.

 I have never known another cat like him. I swear he thinks he’s a human. He sits like human, meows and carries on conversations as if he was human. He even GRUNTS. Like a fat, content human.

He is a kind soul who loves to be the center of attention and loves to be petted. I bought Andrew, along with his litter mate Kayli, from an adoption center when he was 3 months old. He is a flabby tabby who walks with a pronounced waddle with fur as soft as velvet. He has a tail like a feather duster, eyes with human emotions pouring out from them, and a large-capacity voice box.

When he’s “talking” to me, his voice changes pitch as if he thinks he’s actually speaking English to me. It’s hard for him to hold his head still when focusing on something; it invariably wobbles from side-to-side.

He’s not exactly the brightest star in the sky.  If I tell him “No,” he’ll look at me for a few seconds, head slightly tilted as if to ask, “but why not?” Then he’ll get distracted and completely forget that he wasn’t supposed to be doing whatever it was that he was doing. You can’t help but love him for it. Everyone loves Andrew.

He doesn’t bother with Nathan much. He’ll occasionally come around, sniff Nathan’s foot inquisitively… ask him a couple questions then walk off. But, if Paul and I dare to be caught showing affection to each other and not Andrew, he’ll march in, sit down, and meow plaintively until we say “No, Andrew!” He’ll usually grunt with dissatisfaction but forgets all about it as soon as something else piques his interest.

Like SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES.

He is quite the character.

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