Speaking of stopped-up ears, Nathan asked me a question four or five times today, but I couldn’t hear him. I don’t have the best hearing anyway, but now it’s as if my ears are plugged up with cotten. Everything sounds thick, fuzzy, and unintelligable. I kept telling him that I was sorry but my ears are stopped up. At that, Nathan ran over to me, swept my hair behind my right ear, and peered curiously into my ear canal.

“What are you doing, buddy bear?” I asked him. (He loves being called Buddy Bear. In return, he calls me Mommy Bear and Paul is Daddy Bear. Oh, the cuteness! It burns!)

“Did your ears go swimming?” he asked.

“No, sweetie, they’re stopped up from my cold. That means there’s fluid behind my eardrum, making it hard for me to hear.” He looked befuddled, so a quick Internet search pulled up a diagram of the ear. Nathan is now very proud to know the anatomy of the ear, and he can tell me where the pinna, ear canal, ear drum, middle ear, and inner ear are located. And he smiles with gleeful excitement as he points them out on a diagram.

I love, love, love how he loves to learn!

“Fixing my hair,” I replied. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked quizzically at my hair.

“Is your hair broken?” he asked. I may have chuckled at the realization that I can sometimes be quite Southern.

“No, honey. I’m straightening it with this hair straightener here,” I said as I gestured to the flat iron. “It’s very hot, though, so it’s not something for you to play with.”

“Blow on it and cool it down!” he exclaimed.

So then, when I was done with my hair, I put on some makeup. Paul was on his way home to take us out to eat some pizza, and I’m not going to let being HUGELY pregnant stop me from trying to look presentable! So as I was applying eyeshadow to one eye, Nathan was peering at me from the side. When he asked me what I was doing, I said I was applying makeup. And then I looked at him. One eye had eyeshadow on it & the other did not.

He has a small-scale freakout.

“Fix it, Mama!” he shouted. “The eyes! They don’t match! Fix it, please!” He started frantically jumping up and down, eyes watering, hands flapping, and eyebrows furrowed.

I quickly put eyeshadow on the other eye and told him everything was A-OK. He stared at each of my eyes, looking at one and then the other. Finally, he smiled.

“Good job, Mommy! Your eyes are hot!”

“Hot?!” I asked quizzically. Not sure where he got that from. “What do you mean, hot?”

“Well, are the eyes hot or cold?”

I’m still trying to figure that one out.

“I’ll rub the belly,” he said. And he proceeded to pat my belly for a few seconds. “All better?” he asked when he was done.

“You know, I do believe that helped some. Thank you,” I replied.

“Sure! Now I’ll rub the back!” he exclaimed. And he patted my back for about 15 seconds.

“There!” he declared when he was done. “You still preg-a-nant?” It was so hard to contain my laughter! What a sweet boy, looking out for him mama by rubbing my belly and back. Even if it is just for a few seconds!

“Yes, we do make bets on when your doula will leave, your birth plan will go out the window, and you’ll beg for an Epidural. And we go ahead and set up the OR. Happy Nurses Week!”

So one of my Facebook friends is a labor and delivery nurse, and she posted this on Facebook as a meme. I’m not friends with her per se… it’s one of those things where we’re friends on Facebook because we went to church together 15 or so years ago.

I take great umbridge with what she posted. I think it’s highly disrespectful and demeaning to make a game out of a laboring woman’s discouragement. You know *why* laboring women in hospitals will sometimes throw their birth-plans out the window and beg for epidurals? One of the biggest reasons is because we are forced into a “standard of care” rather than evidence-based care.

Many times, we go into a hospital and are immediately turned into sheep. We have to dress in hospital gowns and are subjected to “routine” interventions that studies are showing as questionable medical procedures. We are hooked up to I.V.’s and continuous fetal monitoring, and have our labors either induced or augmented with Pitocin, which means that we have to labor in bed. Sometimes that’s even the hospital’s standard of care anyway; the laboring woman must stay in bed. When we aren’t “allowed” to move about freely, we can’t accommodate the pain. It hurts WAY worse to labor laying down in bed. Not only that, but when you aren’t allowed to move around during labor (think sitting on birth balls, swaying, walking, and just moving around), the baby has a harder time moving down into the birth canal. *Gravity* is a laboring mother’s best friend. Also, movement during labor helps baby get into an optimal position for birth. For example, if the baby is sunny-side up, then movement will help him shift to face down.  I came across a very interesting Consumer Reports article saying EXACTLY what I’ve been saying for years about how some of these interventions are completely unnecessary and only increase, rather than prevent, our risk of things going wrong.

Also, birthing on one’s back is the worst possible position ever. Not only are you pushing against gravity rather than with it, but your tailbone has a harder time moving out of the way to accommodate baby, making the birth canal 20% smaller, and leading to the widely-embraced misconception that the baby won’t fit, labor has stalled, or mom’s body is unable to give birth. Granted, sometimes these things really DO happen, but women aren’t given a chance to birth in different positions or move around to give themselves & their babies a chance.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule, and I don’t want it to sound like I am painting everyone with the same brush. However, I truly believe that for the vast majority of us, our bodies won’t make babies we can’t deliver ourselves. Once our labors and deliveries are turned into a medical event and become medically managed, we are saying our bodies are incapable of handling birth without medical aid. This introduces doubt and fear, and it disempowers us. When we introduce drugs such as Pitocin (which is man-made Oxytocin used to induce or augment labor, mentioned above) into our system, we don’t get the endorphins Nature gives us through the Oxytocin our own bodies make while in labor, and neither does the baby, which can have a serious impact. And even more disturbing is the term “Pit to distress” that I’ve come across lately. When you think about it, such high levels of Pitocin causing such strong contractions can’t be safe. When contractions are unnaturally strong, the baby can’t get enough oxygen. What happens when our brains are denied sufficient amounts of oxygen? Parts of our brain can die. This is just me talking, but think about all the neurological problems that occur with oxygen deprivation to the brain. In fact, Autism is a neurological disorder, so how do we know drugs such as Pitocin, especially when it’s “cranked up,” doesn’t play a part in the staggering rise of Autism that we’re seeing? Likewise with immediate umbilical cord clamping. The baby’s blood is in the placenta, and when the cord is clamped and cut immediatey after birth, how do we know that denying the baby the iron-rich, oxygen-rich placental blood doesn’t contribute to lack of oxygen to the brain?

This is why I feel it’s so important to do birth the way God and nature intended. By changing what nature intended, we really don’t know what we’re messing with and what the long-term consequences are. And yes, sometimes these medical interventions are necessary and life-saving, and we are fortunate to have them when we need them. But using them when it’s not an emercency is just a risk I can’t take.

So yeah, I find the quote I started this post with incredibly offensive, disrespectful, and arrogant. And blithely saying they have the OR prepped for the inevitable c-section is just awful. America has an astounding c-section rate of one out of every three women. That’s about 33% of babies being born surgically. While many are medically necessary and save lives, most others are not. There is nothing “wrong” with c-sections or women who choose to have them, but it’s a major abdominal surgery and comes with serious risks. And each c-section a mother has increases her risk of serious and life-threatening complications. VBAC’s (vaginal birth after Cesarean  also come with their own risks, but seems to be less risky overall with way more benefits than repeat c-sections.

But anyway, I said all that because it really bothers me that my Facebook friend posted something like that. That is *exactly* why I’m going with a birthing center this time around, as long as everything goes well of course, and seeing a midwife. Thankfully, there are MANY wonderful, supportive nurses out there who advocate for their patients, but unfortunately there are those who are like my Facobook friend, and I don’t want to take that risk. It seems like she has little respect for laboring women and spends her energy “making bets” rather than being supportive and encouraging when a laboring woman is feeling discouraged. Me, my baby, and my choices for birth are more likely to be respected at the birthing center I’m going to. Interventions with little to no benefit to me & my baby won’t be forced on me as a routine “standard of care.”

Its really heartbreaking the amount of disrespect that’s rampant towards laboring women in hospitals, mostly by some power-happy OB/GYN’s. It’s almost as if we’ve been turned into cows on an assembly line. Get us in, get us out so that we don’t interfere with the doc’s golf tournament or dinner party. It’s as if once we go onto labor, we lose our autonomy, our right to make informed decisions and informed refusal of certain interventions and procedures based on what we feel is best for us and our babies. Nowhere else in medicine is this evident except in obstetrics. It’s sad.

I hope things are better when my children are having children.

In other news, I thought of something funny to share. Whenever I go to the gym, I bring my gym bag with clean clothes, shower supplies, a towel, etc. Last week as I was walking in, I was stopped by another lady who opined that she didn’t like me carrying such a heavy bag since I’m so pregnant. I stopped and offered for her to carry my bag for me, but ironically, she quickly changed the subject. She never did carry my bag for me. Which is fine- I’m a big girl and can carry my own stuff. However, why would someone complain about it if they aren’t going to help? It makes no sense.

People say the most absurd things to pregnant women sometimes! Sometimes all you can do is laugh…

Later that afternoon, I got a call from my hairdresser reminding me of my appointment “tomorrow at 9:30.” I replied that I had an appointment for Saturday, so it wasn’t tomorrow.

“Today’s Thursday, right?” I asked. She hesitated for a moment.

“No, today is Friday…”

“No way!” I replied. “Really? I thought for sure today was Thursday!”

“I know, I’ve been doing the same thing,” she replied. “But yep, today is Friday.”

Wow. I felt so stupid!! It’s actually kinda funny- Pregnancy Brain at it’s best. And I am Extremely Pregnant rigjt now, so it’s no surprise that I can’t remember anything.

It only seems to be a head cold, but as we all know, something as small as a head cold is fine for adults & older children, but can have dire consequences for newborns. Since their immune systems are immature, a little cold can quickly progress into croup or pneumonia.

I hope Nathan feels better soon. I hate when my baby doesn’t feel well. And please pray that my symptoms miraculously go away because if I go into labor, I really don’t want the added stress of worrying about my newborn getting sick! I’ve been spraying my nose with nasal saline & gargling with salt water… hoping it helps!

Speaking of babies & bellies, Nathan has been asking me if the baby will come out through my mouth or through my belly button. I explained to him that the midwife will help the baby come out, and that seemed to satisfy him… for now. Whew. Not that I mind him knowing the age-appropriate truth, but on the other hand, Nathan has a bad habit of repeating *everything* Paul and I say- even to complete strangers! So for now, I am definitely trying to keep explanations as simple as possible. And also trying not to giggle at how freaking adorable he is!

See, the house we’re living in now is so cute; it was built by Paul’s great-great grandparents and it’s really quaint. However, it’s *tiny* and has no storage space. There are only two small closets and that’s all. It also has the tiniest yard ever, and we don’t let Nathan really play in it because our house is dangerously close to a very busy road, nestled in between two blind curves. The backyard is itty bitty and muddy/moldy due to all the trees that don’t allow enough sunlight through for grass. It’s great for one or two adults to live in, but once kids are added to the mix, things get a little stressful with the lack of space and the dangerous road. So yeah we’ve outgrown the house we live in now and have been dreaming of somewhere that’s safer for kids.

And it’s not just *any* house we’re moving into. Get this- THIS new house is the house Paul grew up in!! Paul’s parents lived there for many years and put so much love and effort into it. To make a long story short, a few years ago his parents moved and sold the house to a married couple who were friends of ours. That couple ended up getting divorced and the house forclosed. Ever since then, it’s been in Housing Limbo.

Then, not too long ago, the house finally went back on the market. How lucky we are that no one else bought it! It’s amazingly sound and solid, and we know pretty much everything there is to know about it. It’s awesome! It’s on a side street with hardly any traffic, multiple (like 7 or so) closets, tons of storage space and shelving, in a good school system, and a HUGE fenced-in back yard. And it’s much more spacious than our current little house. Well, it’s not “big” by today’s standards, but to us, it’s massive ha ha.

It’s going to be a wonderful place to raise our little family, and we couldn’t be more grateful for this opportunity! It’s simply amazing how all the pieces just fell together and how everything worked out. It so easily could have fallen into someone else’s hands!

I HURT.

I have far surpassed the realm of uncomfortable and entered the Land of Pain. My back throbs. It feels like there are rods of fire pulsing down either side of my back, and I’m having sporatic (not LABOR labor) contractions in my lower back. And my hips, my gosh. They feel like they’ve been hit with sledgehammers. It hurts to walk, and going up and down stairs is excruciating. I don’t have the pregnancy waddle per se this time, but with my hips & knees aching so deeply, I’m walking in slow motion these days. And my ribs! It feels like my ribs are being stretched apart and the muscle is being slowly torn from the bone, generating a burning sensation.

So with all this, it’s no surprise that I’m only getting 4-5 hours a sleep at night. I can’t lay on one side for too long before my hip and leg go numb, and in order to roll over, I have to wake up and hoist my belly over. And I get up 3- 4 times a night to pee (which really isn’t so bad… I got up 8-9 times a night to pee when I was pregnant with Nathan!)

It’s hard to do anything. Sitting in a car for any period of time is agony. By the time I arrive at my destination, I’m nearly in tears. I can’t sit for long without my back hurting, and when I stand, my ribs, hips, and knees ache as my legs tingle and go numb.

With all that being said, however, I am still faring WAY better this time around than last time! With Nathan, this level of agony began when I was around 17 weeks pregnant I believe. I remember sitting in the waiting room for his 20-week ultrasound, my eyes tearing up because the back pain was so excruciating. So I am immensely thankful that that this level of pain didn’t rear its head until I was around full-term. And I totally understand why; there is a whole, completely developed baby residing in my womb. A heavy baby. Weird hormones are raging through my body, altering everything from joint tightness to emotions to you-name-it.

But guess what? There is always a silver lining, and all this pain is for an amazing, wonderful purpose: my son. I tell ya, even with all the pain and trauma I went through with Nathan, I would do it a hundred times over just to have him. And even though I haven’t met this little man living in my belly yet, I know that every ounce of pain is something I would deal with over and over again for him. It’s just part of it and I’m so incredibly thankful that we have the opportunity to go through this. I know so many people out there would give anything for a chance to have a baby, so pregnancy itself is not something that I bemoan by any means. This is something that I would go through again and again for my children with no second thought whatsoever.

Wow, I really can’t wait to meet him. It could really be any day now. I’m 38 weeks, so it could be anywhere from now to four weeks from now. Fingers crossed that it’s sooner rather than later. But I can’t go into labor before Wednesday (tomorrow) at noon Eastern Time… I will tell you why then, but not before because I don’t want to jinx it!

I am so excited and so ready to meet this little man!