Speaking of being healthy, this is the first time in a looooooong time that I am actually looking forward to bathing suit season! I’ve lost so much weight. I’ve gone down SIX dress sizes and I look and FEEL better than I have in years! Once I have my official weigh-in at the gym, I’ll post my results. It’s been hard work; this weight loss is not something that just fell into my lap. I had to really work for it. People ask me all the time how I do it, and I can sum it all up in one powerful word: WILLPOWER. Seriously. I got to the point where I wasn’t going to take one more minute of one more day being overweight. I have a small frame, and my body is not made to carry around a bunch of extra weight. My bones and joints ached constantly from carrying all that weight around, and I decided to do something about it. I FORCED myself to do a lifestyle change. And then, those days of forcing myself to live differently turned into weeks, and those weeks into months, and what started out as me forcing myself to do something turned into a habit. That habit became easier over time, and now I look back at the sedentary lifestyle I was living, and the unhealthy eating habits I was indulging in, and I ask myself WHAT WAS I THINKING?

So now I am just mere pounds from reaching my weight-loss goal. I’ve surpassed my weight-loss goal size, so the numbers on the scale don’t really mean much to me. I’ve built up quite a bit of muscle, so I weigh more than other people who are my size. My abs are rockin’ … I totally have a “four-pack” going on!

I haven’t been to the gym in a while due to my shoulder problems and then getting sick, so I am looking forward to getting back in there and getting back on track. Life is good!

Wednesday, severe dizziness and lightheadedness set in, so I was stuck in bed all day that day as well. By Thursday, I was still dizzy and lightheaded, but I thought I could manage to get some vacuuming done. While I was vacuuming, I started having a hard time breathing and I almost passed out… my vision went black and I had to really focus and concentrate to keep from passing out completely. I called my mom, but she was working. I called my mother-in-law to see if she had any advice on how to stave off dizziness, and she replied that she was going to come get me and take me to the doctor.

So I went to the doctor who told me I had the flu, and I was also experiencing complications such as severe bronchitis and an alarming amount of fluid in my lungs. Not just mucus, but fluid. She became concerened and said that I was on the cusp of develping pneumonia and that we had hopefully caught in the nick of time. She said that had I waited until the next day to see her, I would have been in the hospital instead. So after a breathing treatment and prescriptions for multiple medications to prevent pneumonia, I went home to rest.

By Saturday, I was so dizzy and the vertigo was so severe that I was once again confined to bed. The whole room seemed to be spinning around me and I couldn’t keep my balance. I was vomiting up everything and still having a hard time breathing.

Today, I am feeling somewhat better. I am able to breathe better but the dizziness and lightheadedness still persist. I am seriously ready for this to be over! I was trying to get some light housework done (because I’m sure you can imagine the mess with me being out of commission for a week) and I almost fainted while I was bent over doing the litterboxes. (Can you imagine passing out in a litterbox?? EWW!)

This illness really dug into me and doesn’t want to let go.

Nathan, on the other hand, has bounced back nicely. He was really sick as well, but not nearly as sick as I was.

And oh… while I was at the doctor, she said I was wheezing severely when I was breathing in and out, so that reminded me that I wheeze a lot normally and especially during exercise or when it’s cold outside. Come to find out, she said I have asthma. Apparently, many people have their first asthma attack when they’re around my age (early 30′s). So now I have an inhaler and all that. Who woulda thought?

Well, I feel like I need to lay down for a few minutes because the room is starting to spin again… let’s hope I can hurry up and kick this flu to the curb becuase I am ready to be myself again!

Yes, I am complaining. My neck is killing me, thanks to my extremely strong-willed toddler. I initially hurt my neck in December… it sucked, but compared to how I feel now, the pain was more of an aggravating nuisance. I was trying to get Nathan into his car seat and he bucked up and threw one of his mega tantrums, hurting my neck and back in the process. I tried to wait it out, but ended up going to the doctor in the beginning of January. He told me I had a pinched nerve and prescribed an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory). I didn’t take it at that point because the pain was waning, so I saved it in case it flared up again.

Then a couple weeks ago, I reinjured my neck. I was trying to get Nathan into his high chair (due to having a teeny tiny house, we need to move our island out of the kitchen so we can move a table in… until then, I’m stuck with putting Nathan in his high chair) and of course, he would have none of this high chair business. So he threw another tantrum and wrenched my neck in the process. An hour or so later, I was putting away clean laundry. As I reached above my head to put away some blankets, I heard an audible pop! in my neck and then felt blinding white pain.

It’s been severe agony ever since.

I haven’t lost my range of motion in my neck itself, but I can’t shrug my shoulders. The only semi-comfortable position I can sleep in is on my stomach with my head turned to the right. Forget about sleeping on my right side or back. I have throbbing pain all through my neck radiating down into my right shoulder and also up into my skull- pain that’s so intense that I’m finding it hard to concentrate. And then the icing on the cake- a couple days ago, I started getting these flurries of piercing of headaches in the back of my head that radiate into my right eye, which I’m sure is related to my neck injury. It feels exaclty how I imagine it would feel if someone was stabbing me with an ice pick. Each one only last 1-2 seconds… 5 at most… but they are debilitating because I only get a few seconds of relief before the next wave hits. Fortunately after about 5-10 waves, they will dissipate for a while. But when it’s happening, it’s absolutely excruciating. I’ve tried everything… OTC medications like Tylonol, Ibuprofen, and Aleve don’t work. Neither do topical creams or numbing agents. Heat and ice don’t work either. I took my prescription NSAID, but it didn’t do a damn thing. Additionally, it made me gain 5 pounds in 4 days (which I have thankfully lost already)… and since I have been working my butt off getting down to my goal weight, that was unacceptable. Since there was no progress anyway, I discontinued using it.

I guess another call to the doctor is in order. My grin-and-bear-it attitude has not been successful. I think this is something that probably can’t just be “waited out.”

I HATE going to the doctor. It’s a pain because I have to try to figure out babysitting… there is no way I would take him with me- he’s in his I’m Into Everything Around Me phase, and it’s exhausting taking him anywhere where he has to sit and be quiet. Plus I hate being around sick people. It makes me feel all anxious and stuff. The last time I went for my neck, I was sitting out in the waiting room (which, for some ungodly reason, is not divided into a sick side and a well side), watching in horror as sick people coughed their noxious sputum all into the surrounding air without even attempting to cover their mouths. I could practically see the droplets reflect in the sunshine shafts as they hurled through the air. Kinda like how you can see dust dancing. Only this was disgusting sick people mucus, not dust. I cowered in chair in a corner that was as far away from everyone as I could get, trying to take slow, shallow breaths. I don’t care how silly/paranoid/neurotic that sounds. I don’t want someone else’s toxic sick mucus droplets incubating in MY lungs, no thank you. The office even supplied masks for those with a cough, but not one single person used one. They just open-mouthed coughed all over the place.

Seriously. HOW HARD IS IT TO COVER YOUR MOUTH? Did their mothers not teach them proper MANNERS? To everyone who is sick and coughs without covering their mouth, here is a big fat FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES. I hope your mucus boomerangs back into your lungs and makes you DOUBLY sick instead of infecting other people. Self-absorbed nitwits who don’t think about other people. And for God’s sake, DON’T COUGH ON YOUR HANDS. It’s nasty. We touch lots of things with our hands, and all those germs are transferred from your hand to anything you touch. Cough into your elbow. My toddler even knows how to do it.

GROSS.

So yeah. Anyway, being a parent is hard. Not just mentally, but physically as well. It wasn’t so bad when he was a little baby, but now he’s all big and strong-willed and determined, and even though I’m in great shape, I’m still no match for the ire of a disgruntled soon-to-be three-year-old.

So anyway, as we were leaving we passed an older gentleman standing beside the door talking to someone. As we walked by him, Nathan looked up at him, waved, and said, “Hi Papaw!” (He calls his great-grandfather Papaw, my dad Papa, and Paul’s dad Grandpa. He has a habit of calling complete strangers who look like our relatives by the name of whom they most resemble.)

Without missing a beat, the man waved back and said, “Well hello there!” When one of the people he was conversing with looked at him quizzically, he replied with a broad grin, “Well I did have a lot of fun in my younger years…”

And hours later, I am still laughing. That is the best response I’ve ever heard.

Nathan really likes to color. What’s really cute it watching him color in a coloring book or on one of those children’s menus that restaurants give kids… he tries so hard to color in the lines, but of course, he doesn’t have the motor skills to do that just yet. And he also really likes when Paul or I draw on the paper as well, and then Nathan will try to mimic what we’ve done. Right now, we’re practicing circles.

In other news, I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving! My husband will be off from work Wednesday through Sunday for a much-needed break. I can’t wait to hang out with him and enjoy some time together! And don’t even get me started on the good food I will be gorging on. We’re having Thanksgiving at Paul’s grandmother’s house, and let me tell you that woman can cook like you would not believe. And the most awesome part is that many of her recipes are from her her mother and grandmother… talk about deliciousness!

Hopefully, I won’t gain too much weight this year…

(Yeah right. Lock up your pumpkin pies because I am on a path of consumption!)

I have somewhat of a plan this year, though. I’m going to try to steer clear of foods that I have easy access to throughout the year such as candy, etc. But stuff that I don’t get that often will be okay to eat, as long as I (try) to keep it in moderation. I only have 10-15 more pounds to go before I’m at my goal weight, and with the holidays factored in, I am giving myself til March to lose it.

Wish me luck.

See, we’ve been “going to the potty” for a couple of months now, but it’s been slow. At first, he would only sit on his potty fully clothed. Then I coaxed him into sitting on it clad only in his diaper. It’s only recently that he’s begrudgingly allowed me to remove the diaper while he sits on the potty. Even then, I apparently have horrible timing. I’d have him sit on his potty while I read a book to him, but he would never go. There was one time that I pulled his pants up without a diaper so we could wash his hands before I put a fresh diaper on him, and he peed in his pants. Ten seconds after I got him off his potty. Figures. Anyway, we’ve not been having much luck with the process.

But yesterday when he woke up from his nap, his diaper was completely dry. I quickly ushered him into the bathroom to sit on his potty. After about 2-3 minutes… TA DA! HE PEED!

The look on his face was priceless.

I was so excited that as soon as he was done, I jumped up and down and did a little dance, shouting “Hooray! Hooray!” Paul came to the bathroom to see what all the commotion was about. When I told him about Nathan’s accomplishment, he praised Nathan for being a big boy. After I got Nathan’s diaper back on, Paul scooped him up and did a little dance, swinging him in his arms.

It was glorious.

Now to get Nathan to use his potty consistently and without me prompting. That’ll be nice. This is definitely a long process, much longer than I thought it would be. I hear some kids are really easy to potty train, but others? Not so much. I don’t make a huge deal out of it, though, because then Nathan would totally do the exact opposite. We’re just going at Nathan’s pace and I keep telling myself he won’t be in diapers forever. Just taking it one step at a time.

“Cut hair! Cut hair!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, I’m getting my hair cut,” I replied. “But that’s something we don’t do ourselves. We leave it to the professionals.” You know, the whole kids-with-scissors thing? Not cool. I don’t want him hacking away at his hair… although I know it’s inevitable. So then as she was cutting my bangs, my hair trimmings fell onto the cape. Nathan, of course, picks up one corner of my cape and violently flaps it in the air, launching my hair trimmings in all directions.

“Please leave Mommy’s cape alone,” I said. “It’s not polite to shake all the hair off.”

“Ok, I sorry,” he replied. And he stood back, intently watching the as the scissors continued to snip.

Fortunately, that was the only setback he had. After that, my bangs were done and we were ready to leave. I love my little boy, and I love these little adventures that we experience together. Speaking of adventures, he has grown a baby mullet and is in need of his FIRST haircut! We haven’t had his hair cut yet because it took so long for his hair to grow. He was bald for the longest time, so cutting his hair will be bittersweet. He’s crossed the threshold into boyhoood… I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up.