My most recent haircut… decided to go really short on the bangs for a new look. I like it!

I can’t remember if I’ve posted this picture before… As you know, I don’t post that many pictures of myself, but I’m thinking maybe I will post more once I get down to my weight-loss goal. You know, once I’m not so embarrassed to be seen anymore!

By the way, the weight loss is going GREAT. I have been working out like a beast (think 4x a week… working out so hard that my face turns beet red and sweat flies off of me in all directions!) for the past four months… I’ve lost 24 pounds and I’ve gone down three dress-sizes and counting! It’s hard work but it’s totally paying off. I push myself as hard as I can. I don’t shy away from the burn. Instead, I welcome it. I always say that if you don’t feel the burn, you’re not working hard enough! I work out so hard that it’s impossible for me to carry on a conversation. I’ve also modified what I eat as well… I’ve really cut back on processed foods and I’ve added more vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains, etc. Basically, I’m just working out really hard and eating healthier. My motivation is not only for my health, but I want to be around for a while for my little boy.

Plus, looking better isn’t all that bad either!

Paul: moving mouth but not words coming out

Me: “HUH?”

Paul: Blah blah blah I still can’t hear him

Me: “What? Speak up, please!”

Paul: “I SAID I LOVE YOU!”

Me: “You crave cashews??”

Paul: ???

Me: !!!

See, I’ve been going to a gym for the past week because I am super tired of being overweight. I want my pre-baby size back. Ok, ok… I know I’ll never be THAT thin again, but I’ll take a size 8 any day. Hell, right now, I can’t squeeze my PINKIE TOE into a size 8, so can you imagine how totally euphoric I would be to ACTUALLY BE a size 8? (Well, I’d love to be a size 6, but let’s be realistic. A size 6 will probably never happen, and I’m ok with that.)

So yeah, I’m pretty happy with this gym… I like the routine and how good I feel when I am done. It feels great and I am confident that by next summer, I will be close to (if not at) my goal.

You can imagine how badly I was bullied in school because of it. Imagine this. A cute, skinny, smart little blond kid wearing coke-bottle glasses and a black eye patch. That was me. And yeah, I got to where I wouldn’t wear my patch, so then….. are you ready for this?….. my parents had to put MASKING TAPE over the lens on the right side of my glasses. I don’t blame them because it was imperative that I use my left eye while I was so young because if I did not, it would never improve.

So then I got to where I wouldn’t even wear my glasses. The bullying was intolerable. I would take them off, then I wouldn’t be able to see well enough to find them and I would end up either sitting on them or stepping on them. I can’t even tell you how many pairs of glasses I broke (or lost!), and my parents were constantly replacing them.

Finally, in high school, I still refused to wear my glasses but my eye doctor didn’t recommend contacts for anyone under the age of 15. Not only that, but my vision was so bad that contacts were not nearly as beneficial as glasses. I had astigmatisms in both my eyes, which also didn’t help my case for contacts. But finally, once I turned 15, my parents succumbed to my pleas and let me wear contacts.

So up until my 2004, when I was 23 years old, I wore contacts. At that time, my grandfather, Papa, had his cataracts removed and was so amazed by how well he could see, the first person he thought of was me. So he bought me LASIK surgery for both of my eyes. However, I was warned by the doctor that my vision was so bad and I was so extremely far-sighted that they wouldn’t be able to perfect my vision. They would be able to fix most of my far-sightedness, but some of it would remain. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be able to see.

I ended up having two surgeries. I had both eyes done in summer of  ’04, and then in the summer of  ’05, I had another surgery on my left eye to refine my vision. It brought my vision up to about 20/40 in BOTH OF MY EYES. That means that without contacts or glasses, I COULD SEE OUT OF MY LEFT EYE. And I could see better of out both of my eyes then I ever could with glasses or contacts.

I never thought I would see the day that would happen.

They told me over the next year or so, my vision would fluctuate a bit. And I’ve been doing great after the surgery with the exception of recently, I started having headaches and noticed I was straining pretty hard to read, especially when on the computer. So when I went to the eye doctor, I still have 20/30 vision but some of my far-sightedness has remained, hence the need for reading glasses.

I’m totally cool with that.

I even picked out some super cute glasses. We should be able to get them in a couple weeks or so, and hopefully it will help with my headaches. The picture below was of me right after my first surgery in 2004.  They taped some clear protective lenses over my eyes because they didn’t want to risk me getting anything in them or inadvertently rubbing them until they had healed. You can tell I wasn’t feeling my best, but I was just so happy to have the opportunity to see again that it outweighed any physical discomforts I had.

Hide yo kids and hide yo wife cuz my toddler’s getting all crazy up in here.

Ok, so back to my story. Since Paul’s parents kept Nathan for the night, Paul and I were able to have a DATE NIGHT! We met some friends at our favorite sushi place and totally indulged ourselves in a mixture of absolutely delightful sushi, tons of laughter, and later some pool and karaoke. And get this. We stayed out until 2:00 am. AND WE DIDN’T TURN INTO PUMPKINS. We went to bed shortly after we got home around 3:00 am JUST BECAUSE WE COULD. And in the morning? We slept in until almost noon.

Did you read me? NOON, you guys. You know how long it’s been since I got to sleep til noon? Well, let’s just say I have a bigger chance of crawling into the dumpster behind Red Lobster and taking a big ole shit than I do of sleeping til noon. (And, um, just to clarify, I would never actually shit in a dumpster. I don’t poop in public y’all.)

So it was a great weekend and much needed. Paul and I are seriously going to have to make a habit of getting out more often. Being a parent is the best job in the world, but in order to be at your best, you have to take care of yourself first. So that means every once in a while, letting myself take a day off from being Mommy and so I can just be Jen.