Teaching Nathan about sea creatures. This kid loves to learn!

He has such a sweet personality. He’s constantly giving me hugs and kisses. He’s always wanting to sit with me in the recliner and snuggle (and let me tell you, I relish our snuggles because I know it won’t be long before he finds himself too old for such things!) He cleans up his room when I ask him to, puts his dirty dishes on the counter, pushes his chair back under the table, say please and thank you, and is always doing sweet little things to make me and his daddy smile. He loves to give me hugs and will embrace me for so long that sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever let go! (Not that I’m complaining; I absolutely adore his affection.) He’s quick to apologize if he bumps into me and will even apologize to the cats if he runs into them. He likes to run his little hands along my cheeks and asks me if I’m ok or if I’m feeling happy. He has a sense of humor, too. He’ll ask me to close my eyes, then he’ll take a strand of my hair and tickle my face with it. He likes to clown around to get a laugh, and he likes to ask me what my favorite part of my day was (which, of course, is always spending my time with him.) Gosh I love him!

On the other hand, he can be quite onery when he decides to be! He has an incredibly strong-willed personality. I have to be cautious with disclipline- too much negativity sends him into a meltdown. I’ve found that positive reinforcement works quite well with him- I try to catch him doing something right, even if it’s as small as holding over his plate as he eats. And boy, we can really get into Battles of the Wills, let me tell ya. This child is incredibly strong-willed and will fight tooth and nail for what he wants. This can be an asset for him as he matures into an adult, but right now it definitely makes things difficult. Like potty training. Oh man. I’ll save that story for another time.

He loves, loves, loves being around other children, but the poor fellow doesn’t have much in the way of social skills. He’ll run up to other kids, seemingly excited to engage with them, but instead of saying “hi, I’m Nathan! Would you like to play?”, he’ll push them. He also has a rather narrow threshold for the number of kids he can be around. According to the ladies who run the childcare center at the gym, he gets incredibly overstimulated whenever there’s more than four other kids there. If other kids are being obnoxious, running around, and screaming, he loses control and will start melting down. He’ll crash into the floor and walls, pick up chairs and throw them, hurl toys through the air, push, and kick, bang his head on the floor… Then they have to come get me.

I’m not sure if his lack of social skills are due to him being an only child or what, but its definitely something we’re working on. The workers in childcare tell me he is one of the sweetest, most precious children they know- as long as it’s calm in the room. I’m sure it doesn’t help that he has issues with talking. I mean, he IS talking, but just not on the same level as other kids his age. He doesn’t know how to say what he feels, or how to ask other kids if they would like to play, share, take turns, etc. I can imagine how frustrating that would be.

It’s hard to see your child struggle with something, but Paul and I are really working with him, so I’m sure things will work themselves out soon.

He’s a very smart little boy. He’s known his abc’s, both uppercase & lowercase, since he was 2 1/2. He’s been able to count to 100 since he was 2 (with help- he still needs help with the teens and needs to be prompted after 39, 49, 59, and so on.) He loves, loves, loves puzzles! He also loves taking things apart and putting them back together. He’s known all his colors and shapes for over a year now and also knows which way is left and which is right. He can do simple math in his head and has a steel-trap memory. Seriously, this kid can remember something seemingly arcane that I said one time a number of months ago. He can recall commecials he’s only seen once weeks before, and he knows more about dinosaurs than I do. I’m telling you, sometimes I think we have a genious on our hands!

Being a parent is hard. I can say it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. But oh so rewarding! He makes my heart swell with so much love that sometims I’m convinced my heart will burst. Like when I finish a shower and hear Nathan’s little voice ask me if my shower was nice. Or when I get up in the mornings, hearing Nathan ask me if I slept well. And the hugs! Kisses! And the way he wraps his arms around my neck when I hug him. And when he tells me thank you for giving him amazing hugs. It’s so incredible to watch him grow and learn, seeing his personality develop, and knowing that we are playing a huge role in molding him into the adult he will become.

I love being Nathan’s mommy!

Potty training is going so slowly. There is progress- he tells me when he needs to go to the potty and I take him. He has good bladder control now. For example, visited a theme park a couple weeks ago. After we were there a few hours, I checked his diaper and it was dry! So I took him to the potty where he promptly emptied his bladder. He still has yet to go #2 in the potty though. And getting him to pee on the potty can sometimes be frustrating when we’re at home. Especially when he tells me (always when I’m busy) he has to pee and I stop whatever it is I’m doing to take him, and then he won’t go. When we’re out and about, however, he will generally try to hold it.

Sigh.

I’m contemplating putting him in regular underwear rather than diapers. I know I’ll have a few messes to clean up, but maybe that will help him understand that he needs to pee/poop in the potty and not his diaper.

He can’t be in diapers forever, right?

Nathan’s still getting up at night, but only 1-3 times as opposed to multiple times. When I open the door and tell him he’s not supposed to be up, he’ll dive back into bed, cover himself with his blanket, and tell me he’s sorry and that he loves me. (He’s good at pulling my heartstrings, let me tell ya). We let him have a flashlight and a book and sometimes a toy (if he’s been really well-behaved that day) and now when he accidentally drops something off his bed, he will call for us to come help him rather than get out of bed.

I’m very proud of him for minding.

I’m learning that parenting is a work in progress. What works now may not work in a few weeks. In order to parent effectively, I think that parenting should be fluid. You do what works, and when something doesn’t work, you stop and switch to another tactic. Being a parent is no joke- at least not when you’re serious about being the best parent you can be. Children are such sponges; they soak up everything around them. They are molded by their parents. It’s pretty sobering to think about, huh? Who Nathan turns out to be as an adult will be a direct result of how I parented him as a child.

Let’s hope that I’m doing something right…

And oh. I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve heard him darting around in the darkness, digging through his toys… and when he hears us walking to his room, he’ll race back to bed, lay down, and pretend like he’s done nothing wrong. Complete with sweet smiles and soft “I love you Mommy and Daddy” phrases as we open the door. But upon closer inspection, we can always find a stash of toys hidden under the blankets and stuffed animals, exposing his mischief every time.

The only thing we can think to do at this point when we hear his footsteps exuberantly pounding around the room is go in there and tell him to get back in bed because it’s night time. No yelling. No frustration. No discipline. No negativity. Why? Because none of it worked, and you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work because it will drive you insane.

I’m hoping the repetitiveness of simply but continuously and firmly putting him back in bed every time he gets up will eventually sink into that hard little head of his. He’s seemingly more apt to do what we say when we don’t show negative emotions. Keep your fingers crossed.

But still. He won’t stop getting out of bed. And he’s making himself stay up later and later… last night, for example, he stayed awake until 1:00am. And then got up at 8:00am, which is late for him. He must me a night owl like his mommy. Only I don’t joyfully bounce out of bed in the mornings like he does…

We also converted the crib to a toddler bed. Up until this point, before he started climbing out of his crib, we left it as is. The older he got, the less we worried about him falling and getting hurt. BUT, once he started climbing out, we decided it was time to take the rail down. Once we started the process of converting it, however, we realized a vital piece of the railing for the toddler bed was missing. (This, sadly, was no surprise. When we first got the crib when Nathan was born, it arrived at our house missing and ENTIRE CRIB SIDE. Made in China… go figure.) So we couldn’t attach the safety rail since a vital component wasn’t included. Because of that, the first few nights Nathan rolled out of bed a number of times. Once he sustained a nasty abrasion on his forehead from falling out. So I took some great advice my mother-in-law gave me; I rolled up a long blanket and stuffed it under his sheet on the edge of the bed. It makes a nice round lump, which helps keep him from falling out. Works like a charm (for the most part, when he hasn’t flattened it out from constantly getting out of bed at night), so I’m not quite as irritated as I was about being unable to install the safety rail.

So we’re all pretty tired around here. No one is getting a lot of sleep at this point. I know that this, too, shall pass and that he won’t be this age forever. It’s a phase that we’ll get him through, just like we’ve gotten him through all the other phases he’s been through in his little life.

In the meantime, some good recuperative sleep sure would be nice…

He thinks I’m hilarious. I’m enjoying this ability to make him laugh while I can… when he becomes a sullen teenager, I’m sure he will no longer find my antics amusing.

In other news, guess who is still getting out of bed every night? Yep. Nathan. We’ve tried everything… and nothing has worked. We’ve taken away his TV privaleges, his bedtime stories, then his stuffed animals and favorite blankets, then his hot wheels (all 50+ of them), all his dinosaurs, and then we took away his entire toy shelf including the toys it housed, then we took away every single one of his favorite toys which cleared out about 75% of his toy inventory. All his trucks, planes, helicopters, trains, blocks, legos… gone. We’ve even tried spanking. Then we tried rewarding him for staying in bed. Then we tried bribing him with a flashlight. (He loves flashlights, so we told him he could have his flashlight in bed, but he can only keep it if he STAYS in bed.)

NOTHING WORKS. NOTHING.

He still gets out of bed. Multiple times a night. And it’s worse when we react negatively with frustration or lose our patience. When any sort of negativity on our part is introduced, his misbehavior TRIPLES. He’ll get back out of bed immediately rather than waiting a while and do things like pull the electrical cords to his humidifier and radio out of the wall and put them in his mouth and bend the prongs. (We’ve since had to remove them completely from his room.) He’ll even open his bedroom door, step out, and wave at us while smiling before issuing a mischievous giggle and darting back into the darkness. Every time, he gets in trouble. But that doesn’t stop him. It’s almost as if he’s getting a rush or something out of seeing us get frustrated. Like he wants to see just HOW FAR he can push us. So I’m sure you’re sitting there saying to yourself, well then just don’t get frustrated! It’s so much easier said than done, especially when you’ve been dealing with it for weeks. WEEKS. And when nothing you’ve tried works. And you can’t keep doing what doesn’t work. So we’re running out of ideas on how to get him to stay in bed. Discipline does not work. Taking things away does not work. Bribing does not work. Rewards for good behavior do not work. He wants to get out of bed, so that’s what he’s going to do by golly. We’re starting to run out of ideas.

It’s so frustrating. But we can’t just give up and let him do what he wants. Life doesn’t work that way.

I know he’s only two years old, nearly three, and being frustrating and testy is part of his job description. But my lord this kid is so stubborn. I’m amazed at his perseverance. Now if he can take this apparently indomitable will power of his and use it to successfully propel himself through life, then it’s a good thing. But I worry about keeping him on the right path with him being so strong-headed. When he gets it in his head that he wants (or doesn’t want) something, it’s incredibly difficult to get him to change his mind.

Being a parent is not easy.

I think since nothing is working, our only option really is to just not do anything. I don’t meant to allow him to run freely around at night. I mean we’re going to try just putting him back in bed. Over and over and over again. No more frustration. No more discipline or taking privileges/things he likes away, or bribes, or reward offers. I think what he wants is our attention. It doesn’t matter to him if the attention is good or bad, he just wants to get a reaction out of us. If we don’t react, maybe he will give up. Maybe.

We’ll see.

Oh well.

No one ever said Motherhood was glamorous…

There is something innately endearing about a child putting his or her shoes on the wrong feet.

Nathan is completely enamored with his fireman boots. They were a Christmas gift from my mom, and let me tell you, Nathan can’t get enough of them. The first thing he does in the morning, before he’s even out of his PJ’s, is put on his boots. He clomps around in them all day, just as proud as he can be. Never mind that half the time they’re on the wrong feet. That stuff just doesn’t matter when you’re two years old.

I love this age. Well. I LOVE the age, but dislike the phase he’s going through right now… we’re going for yet another round of NOT MINDING! It’s driving me completely bonkers. For example, we got into a bit of a power struggle today. There’s a local mommy group in my area that meets once or twice a month for lunch and play with our kids. There was one today, and before I even left the house, I had inhibitions about attending. Nathan was in one of his moods, and I could just feel that things probably wouldn’t go smoothly.

I made his lunch (which is pretty much mandatory whenever I take Nathan somewhere. He’s incredibly picky, and coupling that with an intense desire to run amuk with the other kids makes Nathan want to completely forgo his dinners.) So it’s just easier to bring his own lunch, and we rarely get into power struggles over it.

Not today, however.

I told him after he ate his lunch, he could get down and go play with the other kids. Well, Nathan would have none of my rules, dontcha know. He balked. Loudly. He wanted to completely skip his lunch and go play, but unfortunately Nathan without food is a very-hard-to-manage Nathan. So I tried to compromise and advised him to eat just half of what I packed. No success. I tried to bribe him with a cookie. Nope, still didn’t work. Applesauce? He took a few bites and then had enough. Then he tried to pick up his plate and move it away. Finally, I told him to open his mouth and I would feed it to him. COMPLIANCE! Never mind that my child is nearly three years old now and I had to hand-feed him his lunch. All I was worried about was getting food into that grumpy little belly while simultaneously sticking to my rule of eating before play.

But then he went kinda nutzo. He had no sugar (the cookies “mysteriously” disappeared into my own mouth), so I’m not sure where all the crazy energy came from. But he started running around the room, yelling and bouncing around while his wavy hair flapped crazily around his head. I watched in horror as he forcefully yanked toys away from other kids, stole their stickers and decorated his own torso with the loot, and danced around like a jumping bean that had been soaking in adrenaline for a number of days. I tried to reprimand him. When I saw him jerk toys away from other kids, I immediately went to him and gave the toy back to the other child, explaining to Nathan that he needs to share and be nice to others. I took the stickers off his torso and handed them back to the kids he stole them from.

But the ultimate embarrassment was when Nathan physically shoved another little guy down, causing him to cry. One of the volunteers approached me and told me what Nathan did, and I immediately whisked him away into a corner for timeout after I making him apologize to the other boy. I told the mother I was terribly sorry, but she was a bit of a bitch about it. Yeah, I know my child hurt her child, but guess what? It happens. That does NOT mean it’s ok, but it IS to be expected with two and three year olds. But she was absolutely bitchy about it. As I was apologizing for my son’s actions, she didn’t even acknowledge me. In fact, she turned away from me and ignored me as she held her crying son. I totally get that she was upset, but there was no need for her to be rude about it. So I just shook my head and left her alone.

That’s ok. Her child will shove another kid one day when he’s around Nathan’s age. Hopefully the parent of the child he hurts will be nicer to her than she was to me. After being shunned like that, though, I won’t be apologizing to her again if my child ever behaves inappropriately towards her child again. Nathan will apologize to the child he hurt, but I won’t go out of my way just for her to reciprocate with rudeness.

Yes, I’m a little pissed off at her arrogance.

But enough of that. Arrogant, bitchy people are everywhere in this world. I am quite sure I will encounter many, many more throughout my life.

So yeah, Nathan has his super sweet, precious and endearing moments… but this belligerent phase he’s going through right now is driving me insane. I’m hoping this phase doesn’t last long. I want him to be sweet again. Don’t get me wrong, he totally has a multitude of sweet moments. I’ve noticed he gets really wound up when we’re out in public, especially if there’s a lot of other kids around or bustling activities. I’m going to have to figure out a way to work on this…

In the meantime, I’m going to soak up every single sweet moment he has. I know his not-so-sweet moments are just a phase that he will outgrow with love and patience. I’ve had SO many people tell me the Terrible Two’s are nothing compared to the Terrifying Three’s. He’s almost three. I hope this behavior is not a taste of what I’m in for in the coming year!