I know, I know. The world’s smallest invisible violin is playing for me right now.
I try not to complain on here too much because I know the last thing people want to read is a bunch of whining and complaining! However, with that being said, it’s my blog and I’m totally going to whine for just a few minutes because just venting for a little bit will help me feel better.
I have far surpassed the realm of uncomfortable and entered the Land of Pain. My back throbs. It feels like there are rods of fire pulsing down either side of my back, and I’m having sporatic (not LABOR labor) contractions in my lower back. And my hips, my gosh. They feel like they’ve been hit with sledgehammers. It hurts to walk, and going up and down stairs is excruciating. I don’t have the pregnancy waddle per se this time, but with my hips & knees aching so deeply, I’m walking in slow motion these days. And my ribs! It feels like my ribs are being stretched apart and the muscle is being slowly torn from the bone, generating a burning sensation.
So with all this, it’s no surprise that I’m only getting 4-5 hours a sleep at night. I can’t lay on one side for too long before my hip and leg go numb, and in order to roll over, I have to wake up and hoist my belly over. And I get up 3- 4 times a night to pee (which really isn’t so bad… I got up 8-9 times a night to pee when I was pregnant with Nathan!)
It’s hard to do anything. Sitting in a car for any period of time is agony. By the time I arrive at my destination, I’m nearly in tears. I can’t sit for long without my back hurting, and when I stand, my ribs, hips, and knees ache as my legs tingle and go numb.
With all that being said, however, I am still faring WAY better this time around than last time! With Nathan, this level of agony began when I was around 17 weeks pregnant I believe. I remember sitting in the waiting room for his 20-week ultrasound, my eyes tearing up because the back pain was so excruciating. So I am immensely thankful that that this level of pain didn’t rear its head until I was around full-term. And I totally understand why; there is a whole, completely developed baby residing in my womb. A heavy baby. Weird hormones are raging through my body, altering everything from joint tightness to emotions to you-name-it.
But guess what? There is always a silver lining, and all this pain is for an amazing, wonderful purpose: my son. I tell ya, even with all the pain and trauma I went through with Nathan, I would do it a hundred times over just to have him. And even though I haven’t met this little man living in my belly yet, I know that every ounce of pain is something I would deal with over and over again for him. It’s just part of it and I’m so incredibly thankful that we have the opportunity to go through this. I know so many people out there would give anything for a chance to have a baby, so pregnancy itself is not something that I bemoan by any means. This is something that I would go through again and again for my children with no second thought whatsoever.
Wow, I really can’t wait to meet him. It could really be any day now. I’m 38 weeks, so it could be anywhere from now to four weeks from now. Fingers crossed that it’s sooner rather than later. But I can’t go into labor before Wednesday (tomorrow) at noon Eastern Time… I will tell you why then, but not before because I don’t want to jinx it!
I am so excited and so ready to meet this little man!