I just finished feeding Nathan a delicious chicken tenderloin. He liked it. I could tell because, well, HE DIDN’T SPIT IT OUT. However, it took him over 30 minutes to eat less than half of it. I had to reheat it twice, and finally I just ate the rest of it myself (because we all know chicken reheated too many times gets all weird and gummy, like chewing on a gummy bear that’s been left out of the jar for two years).

After more than five minutes after I fed him his last bite of chicken, I tried to feed him some fruit. He opened his mouth, but his mouth was still COMPLETELY FULL OF CHICKEN. The juice was all sucked out, flattening it into a thick, chicken pancake.

Nathan is a Meat Vampire. He sucks all the juice out of his meat, then doesn’t want the meat itself.

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