life with a new baby
Archive for September, 2009
Lions and Tigers and… Slugs!?!?
Sep 17th
So I’ve mentioned before that we live in a pretty rural area. I love it out here; it’s so peaceful and serene and crawling with…. BUGS. EVERYWHERE. And I don’t mean measly ole City Bugs that are your typical beetles and ordinary spiders. I’m talking about giant, creepy, crawly, science-experiment-gone-awry MONSTER BUGS. If I were to gather the inner-strength to venture out into the woods, I would encounter numerous species that have yet to be discovered.
So with that being said, just the other day, I had a dear friend of mine over for company. She brought some wine as a gift, so we sat outside and sipped our wine and enjoyed the weather as afternoon turned into evening. When we came in to eat a marvelous dinner of Italian Pasta (cooked by my amazing husband), I left the wine bottle outside on the porch since the bottle had started to sweat.
Later that evening, once the sun had tucked itself into bed behind the twinkling stars, I grabbed the lonely bottle of wine and brought it in, setting it on the kitchen counter to be dealt with later. The next morning, I picked up the bottle and rinsed it out (since we recycle) and noticed what I thought was a dried leaf stuck to the bottom. I tried to pick it off, but it was pretty much glued on. Upon closer examination, I realized it was not a dried leaf. No, it was something much more sinister… it was A DRIED, SHRIVELED, GIANT, MAN-EATING SLUG and it was attached securely to the concave bottom of the bottle!
GROSS!
Did I mention it was GROSS, GROSS, GROSS!?!?!
I shrieked in horror because although slugs themselves are not horrifying, DRIED, SHRIVELED, GIANT, MAN-EATING SLUGS stuck to the bottom of wine bottles ARE! I took some slug-remover, a.k.a. industrial strength paper towels, and gingerly pried the crusty mollusk off the bottom of the bottle and tossed it unceremoniously into the trash.
GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!
I doubt I will ever be able to look at the bottom of a wine bottle the same again…
Growing Up Nathan
Sep 16th
Nap times can sometimes be a bit of a struggle in this house. When I lay Nathan down in his crib, one of three things happen: He screams indignantly, he flops around like a fish out of water, or he falls peacefully asleep. Falling peacefully asleep is low on his priority list, however. He usually prefers to flop around, rolling over tirelessly while playing with his feet.
When I laid him down for his mid-morning nap today, Nathan immediately started giggling, his blue eyes dancing with mischievousness. It was the kind of giggle that made me wonder if he was plotting to destroy the world with red permanent markers, play dough, and smeared poop. Good thing he’s not capable of doing that… yet. Then, he noticed his hands and started opening and closing them, so I tiptoed out of his room as quietly as my popping knees would allow.
After I left the room, I heard music. FROM HIS MOBILE. It has buttons that have to be pushed in order to hear that music. I peeked through the door and sure enough, he had scooted over towards the mobile and had managed to push one of the buttons, turning it on! He was proudly kicking his feet in the air and humming along with the music. I was happy because he is learning even more ways of soothing and entertaining himself. Little by little, he’s growing up and leaving babyhood behind him.
25 Random Facts About Me
Sep 15th
1. I have a morbidly vivid imagination, which works quite well for me in my field of work (graphic design.)
2. When I’m anxious, I bite my fingernails and leave pieces laying around for my husband to see, just so he knows how stressed out I am.
3. I randomly broke my foot over a decade ago while walking to the bus-stop one day while I was in high school. And old lady with white, beehive hair almost ran over me with her giant blue Buick, so I dodged my imminent death by jumping into a ditch, breaking my foot in the process. It is the only bone I have ever broken.
4. I was a smoker for 12 years. I kicked the habit cold-turkey July 1, 2008, and I will never smoke another cigarette. I had a serious love/hate relationship with cigarettes. Quitting was quite easily the hardest thing I have ever done.
5. I use my son as an excuse when I’m caught talking to myself.
6. I love animals and am especially fond of cats. We have four fur babies who are like humans. However, I am severely allergic to my cats so I have to dust and vacuum all the time.
7. Speaking of which, my record amount of sneezes due to cat-allergies is 17 in a row.
8. I am terrified of bees. I know I can crush them with my mighty strength and awesome mind power, but their stingers pack a sting of terror.
9. I’ve only been stung once in my entire life, when I was 7. Ever since then, I run for my life (literally) and always manage to thwart their evil plans to kill me. People say, “Don’t run, they’ll sting you!” Well, it’s been working for 21 years… I opt to continue looking like a deranged fool over going to the hospital any day.
10. I hear voices and see dead people.
11. Ok, I don’t really hear voices and see dead people, I just wanted you to be scared of me.
12. I am very easily entertained.
13. I recently reorganized the entire house from top to bottom, and now I can’t remember where I put everything. My husband is quite irritated that I misplaced most of his stuff. I can conveniently remember where most of my things are.
14. My husband loves me despite my compulsive need to rearrange things.
15. I am very, very anal about keeping the bathroom clean. Water spots on the sink have been banished. Along with any specks of spittle that tend to magically appear on the mirror. And my husband’s whiskers.
16. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
17. My favorite color is pink.
18. Sometimes I laugh when someone falls down. But only if it looks really, really funny. I’m not THAT evil.
19. I really hate when people stare. REALLLLLLY hate it. It makes my butt twitch.
20. I like to make people think my butt twitches.
21. I’ve learned no one can ever out-fart a pregnant woman, EVER.
22. I like really cute and unique socks, and I never care if they actually match my outfit, as long as they match each other. I am especially fond of the ones with toes. (My feet stay cold.)
23. Try as I might, I can’t cook. I think I am cooking-disabled. Thank goodness I married someone who cooks like a champ!
24. My grandfather on my dad’s side is 100% Finnish. I like my heritage… the only drawback is that it is impossible for me to tan. I burn, peel, and freckle, so I just stay out of the sun.
25. I’ve learned over the years not to take things for granted, even the talking chipmunks.
When Babies Attack
Sep 14th
My child is trying to kill me.
Ok, not literally, but sometimes it feels like it. So, I’ve mentioned before that he has teeth now… well, he’s now biting me full force during our nursing sessions. He’s like a maniacal Pac Man, only with teeth. He’s gnawing on everything again, including me. Little bitty ice picks teeth have sprouted through his bottom gums. And guess what? He has two more bulging on the top… that means two more miniature enameled fear mongers teeth are waiting to emerge, biding their time till they can stab at me as well. If it hurts this bad with only two bottom teeth, I can’t even imagine how bad it will be once the top two come through as well. Now, when he bites, it’s like reliving a contraction all over again. So when the top two come through, will it be like a never-ending experience of childbirth? Lord, I hope not.
I’m doing everything I can think to do: I’ve tried unlatching him giving him a stern “No, Nathan. No biting.” He thinks it’s a game. He grins at me, not understanding that he’s causing pain. Once, on accident, I screeched, sounding like a ethereal mix between an angry evil witch and a murderous three-legged hyena. Only because the pain was so intense that a knot of nausea formed in the pit of my stomach, my vision was obscured by a fine white fog, and I thought I was going to pass out. When this happened, his faced turned into a crumpled ball of pure unhappiness, he thrust out his lower lip, and started bawling giant, glistening Nathan tears. He was just pitiful and it took a few minutes of rubbing his little head and telling him he could still share my quest for world domination to get him to calm down. I was smiling on the inside, secretly hoping my accidental screeching scared him into realizing he can’t bite.
No such luck. In fact, he was scared to nurse during the following session, and after an hour of cajoling, I finally coerced him into feeding. And then he bit me again.
I got on the Internet, which has the answers for everything. I mean everything. Don’t know how to make grilled cheese sandwiches? Google it. Don’t know how to scratch that elusive itch in the middle of your back without using the handle of a ladle? Google it. Well, Google has failed me on this one. I’ve read articles, done the research, and he is still biting.
I bet you’re wondering if I’m reading to give up and wean him. Well, I’m not going to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very tempting. I would much rather him gnaw on a bottle than on me. I think about it every single time he bites. Every. Single. Time. But I’m not going to give up just yet… I have a few more tricks up my sleeve to try. We’ll see, Mr. Nathan, who has more willpower here. I am bound and determined to make it to at least the one year mark, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Once again, we have reached a temporary setback. We’ve had our fair share of problems breastfeeding. We’ve made it this far and overcome all obstacles in our path. What’s one more hurdle to jump? This, too, shall pass. Eventually.
Recent Comments
Aww thanks, Tina, it was good to see you too! I wish I could have talked to you more... I ...
I'm sorry you all had a rough go yesterday, but it was good to see you both :) I have ...
Thank you, I appreciate that. It's so cool to hear people say that we look alike... I've been told there ...
Awww... what really nice photos! You two look so alike, especially with the way you smile.